“Alas, alas! to think with what terror I heard him sing it the last
time. He may not be more changed within, perhaps, than he is without;
since, notwithstanding what he said about his looks, I knew him again
the first moment my eye lit upon him on yonder lawn. I wonder whether he
would have known _me_, supposing he had snatched away my veil. Merciful
Heaven, what a risk was that! nay, is not every moment that he remains
at Mirk a risk! What if he heard the name of Gavestone coupled with
mine? I am sure he recognised something in my voice, although I
disguised it all I could. He must never come back hither--never, never!
He must be as dead to me now as I deemed him to be before. God knows
I pity him from the bottom of my heart: and also”--here she
paused--“yes, and also that I do not love him--no, not him, although
I love the man that wrote these words. I never concealed it, no, never,
from my--Sir Robert himself. I said: 'I have no love to give you,'
all along; 'only respect, devotion, duty.' And those, Heaven knows,
I gave. If all together, and a hundred other gracious feelings added,
could have made up love, then Sir Robert would have had that; but they
can _not_. He knew it, noble heart, and was content. He knew that
in that drawer I kept these very things that came on shore with me
when----O Ralph, Ralph, Ralph!” My Lady shook with sobs; and then, in
her agony, mistaking the noise of her own passion for some interruption
from without, started up from the desk on which she had thrown herself,
and listened.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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