Then she called faintly, 'Paul!' The distant figure came back; and she
laid her head upon her husband's breast, while Eustace was gently drawn
away by the nurse. Presently, he found himself mechanically taking food
and mechanically listening to the low-voiced talk of the kindly
white-capped woman who was attending to him. Every fact, every
impression, was misery,--these details so unexpected, so irrevocable, so
charged with terrible meaning, which the nurse was pouring out upon
him,--that presence in the neighbouring room of which his every nerve was
conscious,--and in front of him, like a frowning barrier shutting off the
view of the future, the advancing horror of death! Yesterday, at the same
time, he had been walking along the sandy Surrey roads, delighting in the
last autumn harmonies of colour, and conscious of the dawn of a period of
rest after a period of conflict, of the growth within him of a temper of
quiet and rational resignation to the conditions of life and of his own
individual lot, over the development of which the mere fact of his
sister's existence had exercised a strong and steadying influence. Life,
he had persuaded himself, was for him more than tolerable, even without
love and marriage. The world of thought was warm and hospitable to him;
he moved at ease within its friendly familiar limits; and in the world of
personal relations, one heart was safely his, the sympathy and trust and
tenderness of one human soul would never fail him at his need. And now
this last tender bond was to be broken with a rough, incredible
suddenness. The woman he loved with passion would never be his; for not
even now, fresh from contact with his sister's dying hope, could he raise
himself to any flattering vision of the future; and the woman he loved,
with that intimate tenacity of affection which is the poetry of kinship,
was to be taken from him by this cruel wastefulness of premature death.
Could any man be more alone than he would be? And then suddenly a
consciousness fell upon him which made him ashamed. In the neighbouring
room his ear was caught now and then by an almost imperceptible, murmur
of voices. What was his loss, his agony, compared to theirs?
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