Courtship -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Love stories; Single women -- Fiction
On that afternoon she felt herself to be very desolate and much in
want of a friend. When Susanna came back from school in the evening
she was almost more desolate than before. She could say nothing of
her troubles to one so young, nor yet could she shake off the thought
of them. She had been bold enough while Mrs Stumfold had been with
her, but now that she was alone, or almost worse than alone, having
Susanna with her,--now that the reaction had come, she began to tell
herself that a continuation of this solitary life would be impossible
to her. How was she to live if she was to be trampled upon in this
way? Was it not almost necessary that she should leave Littlebath?
And yet if she were to leave Littlebath, whither should she go, and
how should she muster courage to begin everything over again? If only
it had been given her to have one friend,--one female friend to whom
she could have told everything! She thought of Miss Baker, but Miss
Baker was a staunch Stumfoldian; and what did she know of Miss Baker
that gave her any right to trouble Miss Baker on such a subject? She
would almost rather have gone to Miss Todd, if she had dared.
She laid awake crying half the night. Nothing of the kind had
ever occurred to her before. No one had ever accused her of any
impropriety; no one had ever thrown it in her teeth that she was
longing after fruit that ought to be forbidden to her. In her former
obscurity and dependence she had been safe. Now that she had begun
to look about her and hope for joy in the world, she had fallen into
this terrible misfortune! Would it not have been better for her to
have married her cousin John Ball, and thus have had a clear course
of duty marked out for her? Would it not have been better for her
even to have married Harry Handcock than to have come to this misery?
What good would her money do her, if the world was to treat her in
this way?
And then, was it true? Was it the fact that Mr Maguire was
ill-treating some other woman in order that he might get her money?
In all her misery she remembered that Mrs Stumfold would not commit
herself to any such direct assertion, and she remembered also
that Mrs Stumfold had especially insisted on her own part of the
grievance,--on the fact that the suitable young lady had been met by
Mr Maguire in her drawing-room. As to Mr Maguire himself, she could
reconcile herself to the loss of him. Indeed she had never yet
reconciled herself to the idea of taking him. But she could not
endure to think that Mrs Stumfold's interference should prevail, or,
worse still, that other people should have supposed it to prevail.
The next day was Thursday,--one of Mrs Stumfold's Thursdays,--and in
the course of the morning Miss Baker came to her, supposing that, as
a matter of course, she would go to the meeting.
"Not to-night, Miss Baker," said she.
"Not going! and why not?"
"I'd rather not go out to-night."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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