Bildungsromans; Love stories; Young women -- England -- Fiction
As for the two who were shut up together in Mrs Mortimer's parlour,
their state of mind was far from partaking of the virtuous peace and
serenity which filled Miss Marjoribanks's bosom. It was more than an
hour before the Archdeacon went away; and when Mrs Mortimer had a little
collected her faculties, the result arrived which had been foreseen by
Lucilla. In the first place, terror seized the widow as to what had
become of her pupils, whom all this time she had forgotten, and deep was
her gratitude when she had ascertained that her protecting genius had
sent them away. But with that gratitude came a sudden recollection of
the manner in which Mr Beverley and Miss Marjoribanks had been coming
together up the garden path, before the mistress of the house showed
herself. Mrs Mortimer wrung her hands when she recollected the looks and
attitude of the two, and the rumour which had reached her ears that the
Archdeacon was paying attention to Miss Marjoribanks. What was she to
do?--was her miserable presence here to dispel perhaps the youthful
hopes of her benefactress, and make a revolution in Lucilla's prospects?
The poor woman felt herself ready to sink into the earth at the thought.
She went to the window and looked out disconsolately into the rain--for
it had come on to rain, as Lucilla supposed it would--and felt like a
creature in a cage, helpless, imprisoned, miserable, not knowing what to
do with herself, and the cause of trouble to her best friends. A little
house in a garden may look like a little paradise in the sunshine, and
yet feel like a dungeon when a poor woman all alone looks out across her
flowers in the rain, and sees nothing but the wall that shuts her in,
and thinks to herself that she has no refuge nor escape from it--nobody
to tell her what to do, nothing but her own feeble powers to support
her, and the dreadful idea that she has done harm and can do no good to
her only protector. Any reasonable creature would have said, that to be
there in her own house, poor enough certainly, but secure, and no longer
driven lonely and distressed about the world, was a great matter. But
yet, after all, the walls that shut her in, the blast of white,
sweeping, downright rain, which seemed to cut her off from any succour
outside, and the burden of something on her mind which by herself she
was quite unable to bear, was a hard combination; and wringing one's
hands, and feeling one's mind ready to give way under a new and
unexpected burden, could not advance matters in the slightest degree.
She was not strong-minded, as has been already proved; nor, indeed, had
she the ordinary amount of indifference to other people, or confidence
in herself, which stands in the place of self-control with many people.
After she had wrung her hands, and looked out again and again with a
vague instinct of perhaps finding some suggestion of comfort outside,
Mrs Mortimer relapsed by necessity into the one idea that had been a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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