Bildungsromans; Love stories; Young women -- England -- Fiction
"I have not thought about it," said Barbara, who had the painful pride
of poverty, aggravated much by a sense that the comforts of other people
were an injury to her. Poor soul! she had been thinking of little else
for at least a week past; and then she had not very much choice in her
wardrobe; but her disposition was one which rejected sympathy, and she
thought it would look best to pretend to be indifferent. At the same
time, she said this with a dull colour on her cheeks, the colour of
irritation; and she could not help asking herself why Lucilla, who was
not so handsome as she was, had the power to array herself in gorgeous
apparel, while she, Barbara, had nothing but a white frock. There are
differences even in white frocks, though the masculine mind may be
unaware of them. Barbara's muslin had been washed six times, and had a
very different air from the vestal robes of her patroness. To be sure,
Lucilla was not taken in, in the least, by her companion's look of
indifference, and would even have been delighted to bestow a pretty
dress upon Barbara, if that had been a possible thing to do.
"There will be no dress," said Miss Marjoribanks, with solemnity. "I
have insisted upon that. You know it is not a party, it is only an
Evening. A white frock, _high_--that is all I mean to wear; and mind you
don't lose patience. I shall keep my eye on you; and after the first, I
feel sure you will enjoy yourself. Good-bye for the present." When she
had uttered these encouraging words. Miss Marjoribanks went away to
pursue her preparations, and Barbara proceeded to get out her dress and
examine it. It was as important to her as all the complicated
paraphernalia of the evening's arrangements were to Lucilla. It is true
that there were greater interests involved in the case of the leader;
but then Barbara was the soldier of fortune who had to open the oyster
with her sword, and she was feeling the point of it metaphorically while
she pulled out the breadths of her white dress, and tried to think that
they would not look limp at night; and what her sentiments lost in
breadth, as compared with Lucilla's, they gained in intensity, for--for
anything she could tell--her life might change colour by means of this
Thursday Evening; and such, indeed, was her hope. Barbara prepared for
her first appearance in Grange Lane, with a mind wound up to any degree
of daring. It did not occur to her that she required to keep faith with
Miss Marjoribanks in anything except the duet. As regarded other
matters, Barbara was quite unscrupulous, for at the bottom she could not
but feel that any one who was kind to her was taking an unwarrantable
liberty. What right had Lucilla Marjoribanks to be kind to her? as if
she was not as good as Lucilla any day! and though it might be worth her
while to take advantage of it for the moment, it was still an insult, in
its way, to be avenged if an opportunity ever should arise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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