How often through these nights Nelly Sarratt lay awake, in her new white
room in Mountain Ash Farm!--the broad low window beside her open to the
night, to that 'Venus's Looking Glass' of Loughrigg Tarn below her, and
to the great heights beyond, now dissolving under the moon-magic, now
rosy with dawn, and now wreathed in the floating cloud which crept in
light and silver along the purple of the crags. To have been lifted to
this height above valley and stream, had raised and strengthened her,
soul and body, as Farrell and Hester had hoped. Her soul, perhaps,
rather than her body; for she was still the frailest of creatures,
without visible ill, and yet awakening in every quick-eyed spectator the
same misgiving as in the Manchester doctor. But she was calmer, less
apparently absorbed in her own grief; though only, perhaps, the more
accessible to the world misery of the war. In these restless nights,
her remarkable visualising power, which had only thriven, it seemed,
upon the flagging of youth and health, carried her through a series of
waking dreams, almost always concerned with the war. Under the stimulus
of Farrell's intelligence, she had become a close student of the war.
She read much, and what she read, his living contact with men and
affairs--with that endless stream of wounded in particular, which passed
through the Carton hospital--and his graphic talk illumined for her.
Then in the night arose the train of visions; the trenches--always the
trenches; those hideous broken woods of the Somme front, where the
blasted soil has sucked the best life-blood of England; those
labyrinthine diggings and delvings in a tortured earth, made for the
Huntings of Death--'Death that lays man at his length'--for panting
pursuit, and breathless flight, and the last crashing horror of the
bomb, in some hell-darkness at the end of all:--these haunted her. Or
she saw visions of men swinging from peak to peak above fathomless
depths of ice and snow on the Italian front; climbing precipices where
the foot holds by miracle, and where not only men but guns must go; or
vanishing, whole lines of them, awfully forgotten in the winter snows,
to reappear a frozen and ghastly host, with the melting of the spring.
And always, mingled with everything, in the tense night hours--that
slender khaki figure, tearing the leaf from his sketch-book, leaping
over the parados,--falling--in the No Man's Land. But, by day, the
obsession of it now often left her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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