As she descended the lane, she scolded herself for ingratitude. She was
glad the Farrells were coming, because they would bring newspapers, and
perhaps information besides, of the kind that does not get into
newspapers. But otherwise--why had she so little pleasure now in the
prospect of a visit from Sir William Farrell? He had never forced
himself upon them. Neither his visits nor his lessons had been
oppressively frequent, while the kindnesses which he had showered upon
them, from a distance, had been unceasing. She could hardly have
explained her disinclination. Was it that his company had grown so
stimulating and interesting to her, that it made her think too much of
other things than the war?--and so it seemed to separate her from
George? Her own quiet occupations--the needlework and knitting that she
did for a neighbouring war workroom, the gathering and drying of the
sphagnum moss, the visiting of a few convalescent soldiers, a daily
portion of Wordsworth, and some books about him--these things were
within her compass George knew all about them, for she chronicled them
in her letters day by day. She had a happy peaceful sense of communion
with him while she was busy with them. But Farrell's restless mind and
wide culture at once tired and fascinated her. He would often bring a
volume of Shelley, or Pater, or Hardy, or some quite modern poet, in his
pocket, and propose to read to her and Bridget, when the sketching was
done. And as he read, he would digress into talk, the careless audacity
of which would sometimes distress or repel, and sometimes absorb her;
till suddenly, perhaps, she realised how far she was wandering from that
common ground where she and George had moved together, and would try and
find her way back to it. She was always learning some new thing; and she
hated to learn, unless George changed and learnt with her.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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