When the opening night of the Methodist revival arrived, most of the
“crowd” might have been seen grouped together in one of the rearmost
pews of the church. Arthur and Genevieve were there, Genevieve in her
white fox furs, of course. She was giggling and making eyes as if she
were at a party or a movie show instead of in church. Missy--who had
had to do a great deal of arguing in order to be present with her, so to
speak, guests--preserved a calm, sweet, religious manner; it was far too
relentlessly Christian to take note of waywardness. But the way she hung
on the words of the minister, joined in song, bowed her head in prayer,
should have been rebuke enough to any light conduct. It did seem to
impress Arthur; for, looking at her uplifted face and shining eyes, as
in her high, sweet treble, she sang, “Throw Out the Life-Line,” he lost
the point of one of Genevieve's impromptu jokes and failed to laugh
in the right place. Genevieve noticed his lapse. She also noticed the
reason. She herself was not a whit impressed by Missy's devotions, but
she was unduly quiet for several minutes. Then she stealthily tore a
bit of leaf from her hymnal--the very page on which she and other frail
mortals were adjured to throw out life-lines--and began to fashion it
into a paper-wad.
The service had now reached the stage of prayer for repentant sinners.
Reverend MacGill was doing the praying, but members of the congregation
were interjecting, “Glory Hallelujah!” “Praise be His Name!” and the
other worshipful ejaculations which make a sort of running accompaniment
on such occasions. Missy thought the interruptions, though proper and
lending an atmosphere of fervour, rather a pity because they spoiled the
effective rise and fall of the minister's voice. There was one recurrent
nasal falsetto which especially threw you off the religious track. It
belonged to old Mrs. Lemon. Everybody knew she nagged at and overworked
and half-starved that ragged little Sims orphan she'd adopted, but here
she was making the biggest noise of all!
However, much as she wished old Mrs. Lemon to stop, Missy could not
approve of what she, just then, saw take place in her own pew.
Genevieve was whispering and giggling again. Missy turned to look.
Genevieve pressed a paper-wad into Arthur's hand, whispered and giggled
some more. And then, to Missy's horror, Arthur took surreptitious but
careful aim with the wad. It landed squarely on old Mrs. Lemon's
ear, causing a “Blessed be the Lo--” to part midway in scandalized
astonishment. Missy herself was scandalized. Of course old Mrs. Lemon
was a hypocrite--but to be hit on the ear while the name of the Saviour
was on her lips! Right on the ear! Missy couldn't help mentally noting
Arthur's fine marksmanship, but she felt it her duty to show disapproval
of a deed so utterly profane.
She bestowed an openly withering look on the desecrators.
“She dared me to,” whispered Arthur--the excuse of the original Adam.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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