She came forward rapidly, her resolution once made, and stood before St.
John, half way down the aisle. He did not look very young, thanks to its
being "always fast and vigil, always watch and prayer," with him; his
peculiar dress made him seem taller than he really was, almost gaunt.
His face had a sobered, worn look, but an expression of great sweetness.
He carried his head a little forward, and his eyes, which were almost
always on the ground, he raised with a sort of gentle inquiry, an
appealing, wondering interest, to the face before him. Because, to St.
John, people were "souls," and he was always thinking of their eternal
state. As to a lawyer, those he meets are possible clients, and to a
doctor, patients, so to this other professional mind all were included
in his hopes of penitence or progress. He raised his eyes to the
new-comer's face, and Missy saw the start he gave, and the great change
that took place in his expression. It was as if he were, for a moment,
sharply assaulted with some strong pain. He put out his hand, and laid
hold of the wooden railing of a prayer desk near him, as if to steady
himself.
The lady, meanwhile, had not been too agitated to notice his emotion.
She eagerly scanned his face, stretched out her hand to him timidly,
then drew it back and clasped it in the other, and said something
pleadingly to him, looking up to him with tears. Seeing she did not make
him look at her again, and that he was rapidly gaining self-control, she
flushed, drew back, with a manner almost angry. But in a moment, some
humiliating recollection seemed to sweep over her mind and blot out her
involuntary pride. Her face darkened, and her mouth quivered as she
said, quite loud enough for Missy, in her loft, to hear:
"The only right I have to come to you, is that the wretched man whom you
have befriended, and whom you are preparing for the gallows, is the
man--to whom I am married."
St. John started again, and said--? The name Missy did not catch. The
stranger assented, and went on speaking bitterly, and with a voice
broken by agitation. "He tells me he has confessed to you. I do not
believe it--I do not believe he would tell the truth, even upon the
gallows. His perfidy to my poor sister, ruining her, breaking her heart,
destroying her chance of being happy in a good marriage--to me enticing
me away from you--and then dragging me through shame and suffering that
I cannot even bear to think of--his low vices--his heartless frauds--has
he told you all these?--You used to be young. I should think you would
soon be old enough if you have to hear many such stories. I should think
you would be tired of living in a world that had such things done in
it."
St. John did not answer. His eyes never now left the ground.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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