Missy found herself at home in the country, very sorry to leave her
mother, very glad to breathe pure air again, very humble to think how
much she objected to bad smells and street noises. St. John and her
mother did not seem to take them into account at all, and the Sisters
she was sure enjoyed them. Her housekeeping and Aunt Harriet took up a
good deal of her time, but it was pretty dull work, and her heart was
heavy. It was something of a strain to have to see people and to answer
their curious questions; but to tell the truth, Missy was much less
ashamed of her brother and her mother since she came back, and chiefly
felt the impossibility of making anybody understand the matter. She
understood comparatively little herself, but the comfortable rector,
"with fat capon lined," the small-souled doctor, the young brood of
Olors, the strait-laced Sombreros, the evangelical Eves, how much less
could they comprehend. She knew that the keenest interest existed in the
whole community regarding their family matters, and that much
indignation was felt at the breaking up of the home. There were a great
many people who wore inclined to look upon her as a martyr to the
fanaticism of her mother and brother, and she would have been
overwhelmed with civilities if she had consented to receive them. As it
was, she considered every unusual demonstration of regard, as a
disapprobation of her mother, and resented it in her heart, and possibly
showed much coldness of manner. So she gradually isolated herself, and
became daily less a part of the Yellowcoats community.
How odd it was to be so unimportant! Her small housekeeping required so
few dependents, contrasted with their former ways. Now that they did not
entertain, and that she was neither young nor old, and that illness had
kept her from even the ordinary duties of visiting, she had fallen
almost entirely out of sight. A very gay family had taken their house,
which was now quite a centre of amusement. The Andrews cottage had been
occupied by people whose delight it was to be considered swell. They
drove all sorts of carts, and sailed all manner of boats, and owned all
varieties of dogs. The village gazed at them, and the residents who were
entitled to be considered on a visiting equality, called on them, and
all united to gratify their ambition to be talked about. At these two
houses, poor Missy felt she would be excused from calling. Indeed, no
one seemed to notice the omission; it is so easy to sink down into
obscurity, and to become nobody. She sometimes felt as if she had died,
and had been permitted to come back and see how small a place she had
filled, and how little she was missed, to perfect her in humility. After
all, St. John and his mother--were they so very wrong? What was it all
worth?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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