Brothers -- Fiction; Children -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Motherless families -- Fiction
Never to play with Miles any more! No more games on the stairs, or in
the passages! No, never more! For Miles is dying, perhaps already dead.
How happy the baby in the picture looks! Can it really be him? Oh, happy
baby, always close to mother! always with her arms round him, and her
shoulder against his head. Oh, if he could climb up into the baby's
place, and stay there for ever and ever! How _could_ he get up to her?
She is in Heaven. She got there by being ill and dying. Why should he
not get ill, and die too. Miles is dying, mother is dead--he would so
like to die too. But it's no use. He never is ill--not even a cold.
Miles caught cold going to the pond--the pond where the water-lilies
are. How quiet it was! how cool! How gently they dance upon the water,
those lovely water-lilies. How the bird sang, and the rat splashed....
Come up, Miles--it's as safe as safe can be!... Stop!... Miles is
dying--how could he come up? Miles came into the room, and talked about
the--jackdaw ... wasn't it?--the poor lame jackdaw.... Miles is
dying.... How did he come in?... Hop! hop! comes the jackdaw, poor old
fellow! But what did Miles say about the jackdaw? Boiteux! But _that's_
not his name; we always call him Jack. Boiteux means.... The jackdaw
again! Hop, hop, he comes.... He will never fly again--never! Poor old
jackdaw!... Is it ready true that he will never fly again? It is not
true. But supposing it should be true, what then?... Boiteux!... Who is
it keeps on asking me what 'boiteux' means?... Boiteux! "What then?"
Boiteux means jackdaw--no, it means lame--no it means crip----
The temporary oblivion is over, the unknown dread is taking a tangible
shape, and recollection rushes over him, bringing conviction with it.
But Hope, ever the last gift in the casket, faintly holds out against
certainty.
"No! no!--not that! it _can't_ be that!"
But something beating in his heart, beats Hope down. Mighty throbs, like
the strokes of a hammer, beat it down, down, crush it to nothing; and a
terrible sinking comes in its place. _It is true_--and in an instant he
realizes what _It_ being true will entail.
As lightning, flashing upon the path of the benighted traveller, reveals
to him for a moment the country lying before him, illumining all its
minutest details; so thought, flashing upon the future of the child,
showed him for a moment all too vividly the life of crippled
helplessness stretching out before him--the daily, hourly cross, which
must be his for ever!
Let each one try to conceive for himself the intensity of such a moment,
to such a nature!
Let each one try to realise the thoughts which followed each other in
hot haste through his brain, the confused phantasmagoria which swam
before him, fading away at last, and leaving only two distinct
pictures--the jackdaw hopping about in his cage, and little lame Tom in
the village, sitting in his cripple's chair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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