Modern Eloquence: Vol II, After-Dinner Speeches E-O
General
Modern Eloquence: Vol II, After-Dinner Speeches E-O
Speeches, addresses, etc.
I am not going to dwell upon that aspect of the case to-night, because I
am quite aware that sometimes the ready admission of wrong-doing is
rather irritating than soothing. [Laughter.] I remember once hearing a
learned counsel, who was conducting the trial of a case before a judge
of great ability but not of the best of tempers, put a question of a
character such as to shock any one accustomed to be guided by the rigid
rules of evidence. Strictly in confidence, I don't think he had the
least idea that it was a wrong question, but the learned judge
interposed and said: "That was an improper question, Mr. so and so."
"Yes, my Lord, it was very improper." "Yes," said the judge, "you ought
not to have put the question,--a most improper question." "Yes, sir; I
ought not to have put it, a more improper question never was." And the
more the judge reproached him the more submissive he became, until he
drove the judge nearly mad. [Laughter.]
Gentlemen, there has been a great deal of discussion lately as to the
exact nature of the bond which united Great Britain and the United
States. Some one says blood is thicker than water, whereupon another
with perverse ingenuity begins at once to analyze the blood and
discovers that the elements are not, when resolved, precisely the same.
That, it is said, is the bond of the Anglo-Saxon race; whereupon a
Scotchman insists, or a Welshman insists, that it is not all
Anglo-Saxon, that there is something Celtic in its constitution, and
that to speak of it as the Anglo-Saxon race, either in my country or in
yours, is not in strictness historically accurate. Another finds that
they are the great English-speaking peoples, whereupon an ingenious man
points out that there are people in Great Britain and its dependencies
to whom the English language is not the most natural means of
communication, and that not every inhabitant of the United States is a
perfect master of the English tongue. [Laughter.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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