Modern Eloquence: Vol II, After-Dinner Speeches E-O
General
Modern Eloquence: Vol II, After-Dinner Speeches E-O
Speeches, addresses, etc.
MR. CHAIRMAN AND GENTLEMEN OF THE HIBERNIAN SOCIETY:--I am very
glad, indeed, to have the honor of being present in this Society once
more; as it was my good fortune to enjoy a most pleasant visit here and
an acquaintance with the members of your Society last year. My
engagements were such to-day that I could not get here earlier; and just
as I was coming in Governor Beaver was making his excuses because, as he
said, he had to go to pick up a visitor whom he was to escort to the
entertainment to be given this evening at the Academy of Music. I am the
visitor whom Governor Beaver is looking for. He could not capture me
during the war, but he has captured me now. I am a Virginian and used to
ride a pretty fast horse, and he could not get close enough to me.
[Laughter.]
By the way, you have all heard of "George Washington and his little
hatchet." The other day I heard a story that was a little variation
upon the original, and I am going to take up your time for a minute by
repeating it to you. It was to this effect: Old Mr. Washington and Mrs.
Washington, the parents of George, found on one occasion that their
supply of soap for the use of the family at Westmoreland had been
exhausted, and so they decided to make some family soap. They made the
necessary arrangements and gave the requisite instructions to the family
servant. After an hour or so the servant returned and reported to them
that he could not make that soap. "Why not," he was asked, "haven't you
all the materials?" "Yes," he replied, "but there is something wrong."
The old folks proceeded to investigate, and they found they had actually
got the ashes of the little cherry tree that George had cut down with
his hatchet, and there was no lye in it. [Laughter.]
Now, I assure you, there is no "lie" in what I say to you this
afternoon, and that is, that I thank God for the sun of the Union which,
once obscured, is now again in the full stage of its glory; and that its
light is shining over Virginia as well as over the rest of this country.
We have had our differences. I do not see, upon reading history, how
they could well have been avoided, because they resulted from different
constructions of the Constitution, which was the helm of the ship of the
Republic. Virginia construed it one way. Pennsylvania construed it in
another, and they could not settle their differences; so they went to
war, and Pennsylvania, I think, probably got a little the best of it.
[General laughter.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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