Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
History
Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
Speeches, addresses, etc.
I have seen it stated in one of your remarkably versatile and "Graphic"
journals that I have boasted of having come here with the idea of making
some money in the United States. But bless your hearts and souls,
gentlemen of the Lotos Club, I assure you that I have no such idea!
[Laughter.] I am really speaking to you seriously when I say that it was
by merest accident that upon taking my ticket for Australia, I was told
by my energetic manager that I might see a most interesting and
picturesque country by crossing the Rocky Mountains and embarking at San
Francisco, instead of going by way of the Suez Canal and the Red Sea. I
had seen your Rocky Mountains, it is true, but I had seen them in March;
and now I shall see them at the end of January, and that is really one
of the main purposes of my journey. If from time to time in my passage I
do deliver a few incoherent utterances, these utterances will not be
prompted by any desire for pelf. That is far from my thoughts, but still
if anyone wants to pay two dollars, or seventy-five cents, to hear those
incoherent utterances you may be assured that my managers and myself
will do our utmost to devote the funds accruing therefrom to purposes of
mercy and of charity. [Applause.] I am sure you believe every word that
I say; and that Australia is my objective. [Laughter.]
But, seriously, I only conclude by saying that I do not believe a word
of what your President has said. He does not believe now that for the
past twenty years I have been and am an enemy of the United States. We
were blinded, many of us, for the time being; we took a wrong lane for
the time, just as many of your tourists and many of your Radicals have
taken the wrong lane in England; but I think that differences of opinion
should never alter friendships. And when we consider the number of years
that have elapsed; when we consider that the wounds which I saw red and
gaping and bleeding are now healed, scarcely leaving a scar, I think
that the enemy might now be regarded as a friend; and that whatever
unkind feelings were begotten in that terrible time should be now buried
in the Red Sea of oblivion. [Applause.] There never before was a time
when it was so expedient for England to say to America: "Don't quarrel!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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