Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
History
Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
Speeches, addresses, etc.
But all these things aside, no one sitting at these tables has higher
admiration for the Pilgrim Fathers than I have--the men who believed in
two great doctrines, which are the foundation of every religion that is
worth anything: namely, the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of
Man--these men of backbone and endowed with that great and magnificent
attribute of stick-to-it-iveness. Macaulay said that no one ever sneered
at the Puritans who had met them in halls of debate or crossed swords
with them on the field of battle. [Applause.] They are sometimes defamed
for their rigorous Sabbaths, but our danger is in the opposite direction
of no Sabbaths at all. It is said that they destroyed witches. I wish
that they had cleared them all out, for the world is full of witches
yet, and if at all these tables there is a man who has not sometimes
been bewitched, let him hold up his glass of ice-water. [Laughter.] It
is said that these Forefathers carried religion into everything, and
before a man kissed his wife he asked a blessing, and afterward said:
"Having received another favor from the Lord, let us return thanks."
[Laughter.] But our great need now is more religion in every-day life.
I think their plain diet had much to do with their ruggedness of nature.
They had not as many good things to eat as we have, and they had better
digestion. Now, all the evening some of our best men sit with an awful
bad feeling at the pit of their stomach, and the food taken fails to
assimilate, and in the agitated digestive organs the lamb and the cow
lie down together and get up just as they have a mind to. [Laughter.]
After dinner I sat down with my friend to talk. He had for many years
been troubled with indigestion. I felt guilty when I insisted on his
taking that last piece of lemon pie. I knew that pastry always made him
crusty. I said to him: "I never felt better in all my life; how do you
feel?" And putting one hand over one piece of lemon pie and the other
hand over the other piece of lemon pie, he said: "I feel miserable."
Smaller varieties of food had the old Fathers, but it did them more
good.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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