About once in so often you are due to lie awake at night. Why this is so
I have never been able to discover. It apparently comes from no
predisposing uneasiness of indigestion, no rashness in the matter of too
much tea or tobacco, no excitation of unusual incident or stimulating
conversation. In fact, you turn in with the expectation of rather a good
night's rest. Almost at once the little noises of the forest grow
larger, blend in the hollow bigness of the first drowse; your thoughts
drift idly back and forth between reality and dream; when--_snap!_--you
are broad awake!
Perhaps the reservoir of your vital forces is full to the overflow of a
little waste; or perhaps, more subtly, the great Mother insists thus
that you enter the temple of her larger mysteries.
For, unlike mere insomnia, lying awake at night in the woods is
pleasant. The eager, nervous straining for sleep gives way to a
delicious indifference. You do not care. Your mind is cradled in an
exquisite poppy-suspension of judgment and of thought. Impressions slip
vaguely into your consciousness and as vaguely out again. Sometimes they
stand stark and naked for your inspection; sometimes they lose
themselves in the mist of half-sleep. Always they lay soft velvet
fingers on the drowsy imagination, so that in their caressing you feel
the vaster spaces from which they have come. Peaceful-brooding your
faculties receive. Hearing, sight, smell--all are preternaturally keen
to whatever of sound and sight and woods perfume is abroad through the
night; and yet at the same time active appreciation dozes, so these
things lie on it sweet and cloying like fallen rose-leaves.
In such circumstance you will hear what the _voyageurs_ call the voices
of the rapids. Many people never hear them at all. They speak very soft
and low and distinct beneath the steady roar and dashing, beneath even
the lesser tinklings and gurglings whose quality superimposes them over
the louder sounds. They are like the tear-forms swimming across the
field of vision, which disappear so quickly when you concentrate your
sight to look at them, and which reappear so magically when again your
gaze turns vacant. In the stillness of your hazy half-consciousness they
speak; when you bend your attention to listen, they are gone, and only
the tumults and the tinklings remain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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