Modern marriage and how to bear itBraby, Maud Churton
Science
Modern marriage and how to bear it
Braby, Maud Churton
Marriage
But whether the family numbers one or six, it is all one to Father
Bernard Vaughan, who in his violent attack on modern parents draws no
distinction between the rich man who has but one child and the
hard-working professional man who has several. To limit one’s family at
all is in his eyes a heinous and revolting sin, ‘a vile practice,’ and
people who do it are ‘traitors to an all-important clause in the sacred
contract which they called upon God to witness they meant to keep.’ This
last is hardly logical--none of us are responsible for the wording of
the marriage service, and we cannot very well interrupt the recital of
its barbaric formulæ to explain that there are limitations to our desire
for multiplication.
Father Vaughan also says that this disinclination to multiply means ‘the
extinction of Christian morality,’ and constitutes ‘defiance of God.’ It
is not clear to me why a respectable middle-class couple who decide that
three children is a more suitable number than twelve or fourteen for an
income of, say, £300 a year, should be accused of defying God by this
exercise of common-sense and self-control. Is the idea that the children
will only be sent if the Almighty wishes us to have them, and it is
therefore impious to regulate the number? It would be just as fair to
accuse a young woman who refuses several offers of marriage of defying
God, since He clearly wishes her to marry. Bodily ills and accidents
presumably come from the same divine agency, yet no one thinks it sinful
to seek to remedy these with the means science has provided for the
purpose. Why are the means of regulating families made known to us if we
are not to use them when population-pressure becomes acute? The doctrine
of Free-will becomes a positive farce if Father Vaughan is right. If he
confined his remarks to people who deliberately refuse to have _any_
children, he would have found many adherents, but he alienates our
sympathy by the very excess of his denunciation. He even brands as
immoral the practice of regulating the time between the births of
children, which is so essential to the mother’s health. Apparently he
would think it right for a woman to have a baby every eleven months or
so, irrespective of her husband’s limited income, until she became an
ailing wreck or died of over-production, leaving her family in the
plight of being motherless. His remarks are of course directed
principally at ‘smart’ society people, but as Father Vaughan considers
lack of means no excuse for ‘deliberate regulation of the marriage
state,’ his strictures must be taken as applying to all alike. One feels
inclined to echo with a character in _The Merry-Go-Round_: ‘In this
world it is the good people who do all the harm.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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