Mohawks: A Novel. Volume 2 of 3Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
Mohawks: A Novel. Volume 2 of 3
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
Fiction
"Well, I shall be as nearly a pauper as a man of rank can well be when
these five thousand pounds are gone," he said to himself, "and when I am
dead Judith will have to live upon her settlement. 'Tis an ugly
look-out. She has extravagant tastes, too, and has been accustomed since
her marriage to fling money about at random; to gratify every whim, riot
in every luxury. Will she not curse me years hence when she finds
herself reduced to the narrower limit of her pin-money, which, however
handsome, will hardly allow her to melt pearls, like Cleopatra, or to
venture in every lottery, bid for every Chinese monster and Indian
screen, and entertain a crowd of flatterers at every meal, to say
nothing of ombre and quadrille?" And then he told himself that Judith
had only been extravagant because she was unhappy. That all her follies
had been but the endeavour to stop the pain of an aching heart, with the
anodyne of frivolous pleasures. She had told him once that she would be
true to him in poverty and every ill; told him with her arms round his
neck, that night they swore fidelity to each other in the little Chinese
room at Lady Skirmisham's, when both were free and such vows were
innocent. Had the world so changed her that she would be less
disinterested now, when in the maturity of her womanhood she was to give
herself to him freely, deeming the world well lost for love? "What is
the world that any woman should regret the loss of it?" he thought: "a
raree-show, a kind of modish Bartholomew Fair, where wits and beauties,
politicians and heroes, are all of them as false, and many of them as
thickly painted, as any mummer at Smithfield. No, I will not be such a
fool as to feel remorse at stealing my beloved from such a world as
ours."
He put away his papers and locked his scrutoire with a sigh, finding
himself even poorer than he had thought. And then he began to pace the
room in a reverie. It was nearly midnight, but he had no inclination for
sleep. His brain was a vortex of busy thoughts. His imagination flew
from one subject to another with restless variety--now anticipating
evil, now dreaming of an idyllic bliss, unbroken by a cloud.
Then that shadow of fear, that vague apprehension of unknown evil which
had been upon him all day, seemed suddenly to deepen, until it wrapped
him round like a pall. The absolute silence of the house oppressed his
spirits. He had heard doors locked and bolted, and footsteps retiring an
hour ago. The household was asleep, remote from that spacious library,
which was in a wing apart, ending in the chapel. He could hardly have
been more lonely in the depths of a forest; and to-night, for the first
time within his memory of himself, solitude seemed an evil.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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