"If you have wished it you have murdered," returns she, with
conviction. "You have craved his death: what is that but unuttered
crime? There is little difference; it is but one step the more in the
same direction. And I,--in what way am I the greater sinner? I have but
said aloud what you whisper to your heart."
"Be silent," cries he, fiercely. "All your sophistry fails to make me a
partner in your guilt."
"I am the honester of the two," she goes on, rapidly, unheeding his
anger. "As long as the accursed thing is unspoken, you see no harm in
it; once it makes itself heard, you start and sicken, because it hurts
your tender susceptibilities. Yet hear me, Philip." Suddenly changing
her tone of passionate scorn to one of entreaty as passionate, "Do not
cast me off for a few idle words. They have done no harm. Let us be as
we were."
"Impossible," replies he coldly, unloosing her fingers from his arm,
all the dislike and loathing of which he is capable compressed into the
word. "You have destroyed my trust in you."
A light that means despair flashes across Marcia's face as she stands
in all her dark but rather evil beauty before him; then suddenly she
falls upon her knees.
"Philip, have pity on me!" she cries painfully. "I love you,--I have
only you. Here in this house I am alone, a stranger in my own land. Do
not you too turn from me. Ah! you should be the last to condemn, for if
I dreamed of sin it was for your sake. And after all, what did I say?
The thought that this girl's coming might upset the dream of years
agitated me, and I spoke--I--but I meant nothing--nothing." She drags
herself on her knees nearer to him and attempts to take his hand.
"Darling, do not be so stern. Forgive me. If you cast me off, Philip,
you will kill not only my body, but all that is good in me."
"Do not touch me," returns he, harshly, the vein of brutality in him
coming to the surface as he pushes her from him and with slight
violence unclasps her clinging fingers.
The action is in itself sufficient, but the look that accompanies
it--betraying as it does even more disgust than hatred--stings her to
self-control. Slowly she rises to her feet. As she does so, a spasm, a
contraction near her heart, causes her to place her hand involuntarily
against her side, while a dull gray shadow covers her face.
"You mean," she says, speaking with the utmost difficulty, "that
all--is at an end--between us."
"I do mean that," he answers, very white, but determined.
"Then beware!" she murmurs, in a low, choked voice.
CHAPTER XI.
"You stood before me like a thought,
A dream remembered in a dream."
--Coleridge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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