Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
The garden had learned that dance now. It was simple once you got the
hang of it. All you had to do, if you were a tree, was to jump up and
down, while, if you were a lawn, you just went round and round. So the
trees jumped up and down and the lawn went round and round, and John
stood still in the middle of it all, admiring it.
"Oh, Johnnie," said Pat. "What on earth shall I do?"
"Go on just like you are now."
"But about Hugo, I mean."
Hugo? Hugo? John concentrated his mind. Yes, he recalled now, there had
been some little difficulty about Hugo. What was it? Ah, yes.
"Pat," he said, "I love you. Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"Then what on earth," demanded John, "did you go and do a silly thing
like getting engaged to Hugo for?"
He spoke a little severely, for in some mysterious fashion all the
awe with which this girl had inspired him for so many years had left
him. His inferiority complex had gone completely. And it was due, he
gathered, purely and solely to the fact that he was holding her in his
arms and kissing her. At any moment during the last half-dozen years
this childishly simple remedy had been at his disposal and he had not
availed himself of it. He was astonished at his remissness, and his
feeling of gratitude, toward that Ancestor of his in the baggy bearskin
who had pointed out the way, became warmer than ever.
"But I thought you didn't care a bit for me," wailed Pat.
John stared.
"Who, me?"
"Yes."
"Didn't care for you?"
"Yes."
"You thought I didn't care for you?"
"Well, you had promised to take me to Wenlock Edge and you never turned
up and I found you had gone out in your car with that Molloy girl.
Naturally I thought...."
"You shouldn't have."
"Well, I did. And so when Hugo's letter came it seemed such a wonderful
chance of showing you that I didn't care. And now what am I to do? What
can I say to Hugo?"
It was a nuisance for John to have to detach his mind from what really
mattered in life to trivialities like this absurd business of Hugo, but
he supposed the thing, if only to ease Pat's mind, would have to be
given a little attention.
"Hugo thinks he's engaged to you?"
"Yes."
"Well, he isn't."
"No."
"Then that," said John, seeing the thing absolutely clearly, "is all
we've got to tell him."
"You talk as if it were so simple!"
"So it is. What's hard about it?"
"I wish you had it to do instead of me!"
"But of course I'll do it," said John. It astonished him that she
should have contemplated any other course. Naturally, when the great
strong man becomes engaged to the timid, fluttering little girl he
takes over all her worries and handles in his efficient, masculine way
any problem that may be vexing her.
"Would you really, Johnnie?"
"Certainly."
"I don't feel I can look him in the face."
"You won't miss much. Where is he?"
"He went off in the direction of the village."
"Carmody Arms," diagnosed John. "I'll go and tell him at once." And he
strode down the garden with strong, masterful steps.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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