Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
Having dressed and come out into the open, John found that he had
missed some hours of what appeared to be the most perfect morning in
the world's history. The stable yard was a well of sunshine: light
breezes whispered in the branches of the cedars: fleecy clouds swam in
a sea of blue: and from the direction of the home farm there came the
soothing crooning of fowls. His happiness swelled into a feeling of
universal benevolence toward all created things. He looked upon the
birds and found them all that birds should be: the insects which hummed
in the sunshine were, he perceived, a quite superior brand of insect:
he even felt fraternal toward a wasp which came flying about his face.
And when the Dex-Mayo rolled across the bridge of the moat and Bolt,
applying the brakes, drew up at his side, he thought he had never seen
a nicer-looking chauffeur.
"Good morning, Bolt," said John, effusively.
"Good morning, sir."
"Where have you been off to so early?"
"Mr. Carmody sent me to Worcester, sir, to leave a bag for him at Shrub
Hill station. If you're going into the house, Mr. John, perhaps you
wouldn't mind giving him the ticket?"
John was delighted. It was a small kindness that the chauffeur was
asking, and he wished it had been in his power to do something for him
on a bigger scale. However, the chance of doing even small kindnesses
was something to be grateful for on a morning like this. He took the
ticket and put it in his pocket.
"How are you, Bolt?"
"All right, thank you, sir."
"How's Mrs. Bolt?"
"She's all right, Mr. John."
"How's the baby?"
"The baby's all right."
"And the dog?"
"The dog's all right, sir."
"That's splendid," said John. "That's great. That's fine. That's
capital. I'm delighted."
He smiled a radiant smile of cheeriness and good will, and turned
toward the house. However much the heart may be uplifted, the animal in
a man insists on demanding breakfast, and, though John was practically
pure spirit this morning, he was not blind to the fact that a couple of
eggs and a cup of coffee would be no bad thing. As he reached the door,
he remembered that Mrs. Bolt had a canary and that he had not inquired
after that, but decided that the moment had gone by. Later on, perhaps.
He opened the back door and made his way to the morning room, where
eggs abounded and coffee could be had for the asking. Pausing only to
tickle a passing cat under the ear and make chirruping noises to it, he
went in.
The morning room was empty, and there were signs that the rest of the
party had already breakfasted. John was glad of it. Genially disposed
though he felt toward his species to-day, he relished the prospect
of solitude. A man who is about to picnic on Wenlock Edge in perfect
weather with the only girl in the world, wants to meditate, not to make
conversation.
So thoroughly had his predecessors breakfasted that he found, on
inspecting the coffee pot, that it was empty. He rang the bell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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