She dwelt treacherously on Haney's own admission: that she had been in a
sense entrapped. He had believed himself a dying man at the time, and
she had been too excited, too exalted by the lurid romance of the scene
to be clear about anything save the wish and the will to save him; and
now she knew that at bottom of all her willingness to serve him lay the
consciousness that he was on his death-bed. Afterwards he had been to
her only a big-hearted, generous friend, in need of love and
companionship. This understanding had made it easy for her to prepare
his meals, to help him, as a nurse would help him, to dress and undress.
She had lost all of the fear and much of the admiration in which she
used to greet him as he swung into the office of her little hotel. He
had become to her an invalid, a child to be jollied and humored, and yet
respected; for no one could have been kinder or more scrupulously just
than he. And it was the recollection of all his acts of self-sacrifice
and loving patience which gave her assurance that he would never require
obedience, though he might sue for it.
Her danger lay in herself. "If he _does_ ask me to be his real
wife--then I must either agree or leave. It won't be right for me to
take all these benefits unless--"
And with this thought, the big house in the Springs, the sleek horses,
their shining carriages, the auto-car, her dresses, the service of the
big hotel, and the consideration her husband's money gave to her, all
assumed a new and corrupting lustre. She was growing accustomed to
luxury and the thought of giving it up made her shiver like one who
faces a plunge into a dark night and an icy river. Besides, her
sacrifice would involve others. Her mother, her brother, were already
roundly ensnared in Mart's bounty.
Her head was aching with it all, when a comforting thought came to her.
It was not necessary to decide it at that moment, and with a sigh of
relief she threw it aside and sat down to write a letter to her mother.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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