"I don't know whether it is less or more--I don't know how much I love
her; and I would give anything in the world to cease thinking of her!
But I cannot--do what I will, her image is always here. I forget that
she flirted with me--that she pretended to love me, only to throw me
over the next minute. I say to myself that all women try to please, and
that they cannot love all the men they have fascinated. I say to myself
that this Monsieur Auguste Monleard offered her a brilliant fortune, and
all the pleasures, all the enjoyment, all the luxury, in which, to a
young woman, the happiness of life consists.--I say all this to myself,
and I understand perfectly how she could have refused the poor clerk's
hand to accept that of the man who was wealthy and distinguished. So
that, if I am unhappy, I can blame nothing but fortune--and Fanny is so
pretty, so fascinating, so well worthy to shine in society! She will
never be mine, and yet I love her--yes, I still love her! They say that
men don't know the meaning of constancy; but you see that that isn't
true, Adolphine; you see that there are some who can love
faithfully--and, unluckily, they are the ones who are not loved."
Adolphine did not reply for some time; she was suffocating, she could
not keep back the tears which dimmed her sight. Gustave saw them; he
seized her hand and pressed it, crying:
"You weep--dear sister!--my unhappiness makes you shed tears. Oh!
forgive me for coming here and grieving you by the story of my
suffering."
"Yes--it does grieve me to know that you are unhappy! But, after all, it
seems to me that you ought to try--that you do not make enough effort to
divert your thoughts; you see, when one has no hope, one ought to
forget."
"Oh! that makes no difference at all."
"Yes, it is possible.--How long since you returned to Paris?"
"Only last evening; and, as you see, I came to you at once this
morning."
"Yes--to talk to me about her!"
"I admit it--but to see you, too,--you who have always shown me so much
affection, and whom I am so happy to call my sister still!"
"Oh! of course--because that was the name you gave me when you were to
marry Fanny! But you don't know--I have not dared to tell you that
father says that you must not come to our house any more!"
"Not come here any more! Why not, pray?"
"Why, because of that unfortunate duel----"
"Duel! What do you mean? What duel?"
"What! you don't know? Hasn't your uncle told you about it?"
"I told you that I only arrived last night; my uncle talked about
nothing but matters of business, which are of much more importance in
his eyes than anything else. Tell me what duel you are talking about?"
"Do you remember the man who dined with you on the day of my sister's
wedding?"
"Yes, a curious creature whom I happened to meet--and who took pity on
the state of frenzy I was in at that time."
"Was he a friend of yours?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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