“But,” he continued in a hoarse and constrained tone, “in loving you, in
telling you of it, in trying to make you share my love, I violate basely
the obligations of honor of which you know, and others of which you
know not. It is a crime, as you have said. I do not try to extenuate my
offence. I see it, I judge it, and I accept it. I break the last moral
tie that is left me; I leave the ranks of men of honor, and I leave also
the ranks of humanity. I have nothing human left except my love, nothing
sacred but you; but my crime elevates itself by its magnitude. Well, I
interpret it thus: I imagine two beings, equally free and strong, loving
and valuing each other beyond all else, having no affection, no loyalty,
no devotion, no honor, except toward each other--but possessing all for
each other in a supreme degree.
“I give and consecrate absolutely to you, my person, all that I can be,
or may become, on condition of an equal return, still preserving
the same social conventionalities, without which we should both be
miserable.
“Secretly united, and secretly isolated; though in the midst of
the human herd, governing and despising it; uniting our gifts, our
faculties, and our powers, our two Parisian royalties--yours, which can
not be greater, and mine, which shall become greater if you love me and
living thus, one for the other, until death. You have dreamed, you told
me, of strange and almost sacrilegious love. Here it is; only before
accepting it, reflect well, for I assure you it is a serious thing.
My love for you is boundless. I love you enough to disdain and trample
under foot that which the meanest human being still respects. I love
you enough to find in you alone, in your single esteem, and in your
sole tenderness, in the pride and madness of being yours, oblivion and
consolation for friendship outraged, faith betrayed, and honor lost.
But, Madame, this is a sentiment which you will do well not to trifle
with. You should thoroughly understand this. If you desire my love, if
you consent to this alliance, opposed to all human laws, but grand and
singular also, deign to tell me so, and I shall fall at your feet. If
you do not wish it, if it terrifies you, if you are not prepared for
the double obligation it involves, tell me so, and fear not a word of
reproach. Whatever it might cost me--I would ruin my life, I would
leave you forever, and that which passed yesterday should be eternally
forgotten.”
He ceased, and remained with his eyes fixed on the young woman with a
burning anxiety. As he went on speaking her air became more grave; she
listened to him, her head a little inclined toward him in an attitude of
overpowering interest, throwing upon him at intervals a glance full of
gloomy fire. A slight but rapid palpitation of the bosom, a scarcely
perceptible quivering of the nostrils, alone betrayed the storm raging
within her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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