England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Fiction
"She did silly things. They vexed me. I was jealous, I suppose. Take
care of Miriam. Oh--but she's gone. Edith--she made men love her, and
she couldn't help it, and then one night--but it's too long to tell.
Philip thought she wasn't faithful, but I knew. She wouldn't tell him.
She was angry, she wouldn't say a word, but she trusted me to tell him.
And you see, I--didn't. He wouldn't go and see her. If he had seen her
he would have found out. And soon she died--of measles." The woman in
the bed laughed softly.
"That was so foolish! And then I married him. I got w-what I wanted. But
there's a verse about leanness in the soul, isn't there? That's what I
had. He wanted some one to look after the children, and I looked after
you--no more. The struggling hasn't been worth while."
"No." The word came from Helen like a lost puff of wind.
"And then Philip went away, and I came here. That's all. I wanted to
tell somebody. Now perhaps I can have peace. I meant to tell him, too,
but I was too late. That worried me. All these years--"
Leaning on her elbow, Helen looked at the narrow bed. It had some aspect
of a coffin, and the strangely indifferent voice was still. She felt an
intolerable pity for the woman, and the pain overcame her bewilderment
and surprise, yet she knew she need not suffer, for Mildred Caniper had
slipped her burden of confession and lay at rest.
Beyond the relief of tears, Helen slid into her place. The dead, distant
mother was not real to her: she was like the gay shadow of a butterfly
that must soon die, and Philip Caniper was no more than a name. Their
fate could hardly stir her, and their personal tragedy was done; but now
she thought she could interpret the thoughts which clustered in the
dining-room. This was Mildred Caniper's secret, and it had been told
without shame. The irony of that made her laugh silently to the shaking
of her bed. She had no words with which to clothe her feelings, the
sense of her own smallness, of unhappiness so much the common lot that
it could almost pass unheeded. There was some comfort in the mingling of
her own misery with all that had been and was to be, but she felt
herself in the very presence of disintegration: the room was stirring
with fragments of the life which Mildred Caniper could not hold
together: mind and matter, they floated from the tired body in the
corner and came between Helen and the sleep that would have kept her
from thinking of the morrow, from her nightly vision of Zebedee's face
changing from that of happy lover to poor, stricken man. Turning in the
bed, she left him for the past of which Mildred Caniper had told her,
yet that past, as parent of the present, looked anxiously and not
without malice towards its grandchildren. What further tragedy would the
present procreate?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account