YOU have asked me to tell you all about _Judith Crowhurst_. I will tell
you something more and begin at the beginning. You will remember that
Miss Hardman said to Mrs. Pryor, Mrs. Hardman’s governess: ‘WE need the
imprudences, extravagances, mistakes and crimes of a certain number of
fathers to sow the seed from which WE reap the harvest of governesses.
The daughters of tradespeople, however well educated, must necessarily be
under-bred, and as such unfit to be inmates of OUR dwellings, or
guardians of OUR children’s minds and persons. WE shall ever prefer to
place those about OUR offspring, who have been born and bred with
somewhat of the same refinement as OURSELVES.’ I was one of those
unhappy women who, mercifully for the upper classes, inherit manners and
misery in order that the children of these superior creatures may not put
an ‘r’ at the end of ‘idea’ and may learn how to sit down in a chair with
propriety. My father was a clergyman holding a small country living. He
died when I was five-and-twenty, and I had to teach in order to earn my
bread. I obtained a tolerably good situation, but at the end of two
years I was informed that, although a clergyman’s daughter would ‘do very
well’ so long as her pupils were quite young, it was now time that they
should be handed over to a lady who had been accustomed to Society. I
had become thoroughly weary of my work. I was not enthusiastic to
instruct girls for whom I did not care. I suppose that if I had been a
born teacher, I should have been as happy with the little Hardmans as I
was in the nursery with my youngest sister now dead. I should not have
said to myself, as I did every morning, ‘What does it matter?’ In my
leisure moments and holidays during those two years I had written a
novel. I could supply conversation and description, but it was very
difficult to invent a plot, and still more difficult to invent one which
of itself would speak. I had collected a quantity of matter of all kinds
before I began, and then I cast about for a frame in which to fit it. At
last I settled that my hero, if hero he could be called, should fall in
love with a poor but intelligent and educated girl. He had a fortune of
about two thousand pounds a year, nearly the whole of which he lost
through the defalcations of a brother, whose creditors received about
five shillings in the pound. He felt that the fair name of his family
was stained, and he was consumed with a passion to repay his brother’s
debts and to recover possession of the old house and land which had been
sold. He went abroad, worked hard, and met with a lady who was rich whom
he really admired. His love for his betrothed had been weakened by
absence, the engagement, for some trifling reason, was broken off, and he
married the heiress. At the end of five years he returned to England,
discharged every liability, and in two years more was the owner of his
birthplace. The marriage, alas! was unhappy. There was no obtrusive
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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