Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Now, the School-Master was not only a man of profound learning, but a
man of rapid mental processes. He had heard from his open window the
discussion as his two friends slowly came down the street; and, in point
of fact, his professional instinct had led him to note the mystic word
when it dropped from the Envoy’s lips. This it was, rather than domestic
expectations, that had kept him awake so late. And in the time that
elapsed between the arrival of his friends and his appearance at the
door, he had prepared himself to meet the situation.
He listened solemnly to the question with the tolerant interest of a man
of science, and he answered it without hesitation, in the imposing tone
of perfect knowledge.
[Illustration]
“A cotillion,” he said, decisively, “is the one-billionth part of a
minus million in quaternions, and is used by surveyors to determine the
logarithm of the cube root. That is, its use has hitherto been forbidden
to the government surveyors on account of the uncertainty of the
formula. That, however, has been finally determined by Prof. Lipsius, of
Munich, and hereafter it may be applied to delicate calculations in
determining the altitude of mountains too lofty for ascent. Gentlemen, I
should like to ask you in to take a night-cap with me, but, under the
circumstances, you understand.... Doctor, I don’t think we shall need
you to-night. Good-evening, friends.”
The Doctor and the Head Burgess ruminated over this new acquisition to
their stock of knowledge as they strolled on down the street. At last
the latter broke the silence and said, in a tone in which conviction
struggled with sleepiness:
“Doctor, I have often thought what a hard life those poor devils on the
mainland must have with their impassable mountains, and their railroads
that kill and mangle you if they get a millionth part of a cube root out
of the way, and the boundary-lines they are everlastingly quarreling
about. Why, here in Ausserland, see how simple it all is! We never have
any trouble about our boundary-lines. Where the land stops the water
begins, and where the land begins the water stops; and that’s all there
is to it!”
[Illustration]
And with these words, as the last puff of his pipe rose heavenward, the
Burgess dismissed the matter from his mind, and the Emperor’s
proclamation legitimizing the Third Figure of the Cotillion vanished
from his memory--and from that of all Ausserland--passing into oblivion
with those that had told of Ausserland’s change of nationality, of the
conscription of her exempt citizens, and of the death of the
great-grandmother of the hereditary Prince.
“SAMANTHA BOOM-DE-AY.”
It was a long, rough, sunlit stretch of stony turnpike that climbed
across the flanks of a mountain range in Maine, and skirted a great
forest for many miles, on its way to an upland farming-country near the
Canada border.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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