"Very good, Misther Hogan; and ye see I wouldn't be telling a lie for the matter--why should I?" rejoined Mrs. O'Reilly very complacently;--and then, turning to the magistrate, she proceeded--"And plase your magistrate, Misther Hogan is a nice civilish sort of a young jantleman as a body would wish to be spaking to--ounly that time he couldna withstand _timptation_; and that was last Sathurday, after tay, when my husband wasn't in the place, and the childer were abed, and I was ironing their best bits of frocks for the Sunday, plase your magistrate. And Misther Hogan sat down by the fire mighty quiet--'And what do I owe you, Misthress O'Reilly,' says he--'for the rint?' says he. 'Just one week of it, Misther Hogan,' say I, 'for you're a nice man, and always true for the rint, and I likes to have you for a lodger overmuch.' Och! bad luck to me for saying that! for Mr. Hogan couldna stand the kind word at all, but must be flinging out his coortships at me--against both the law and the gospel--saving your magistrate's presence. 'And what would ye be after, Misther Hogan?' says I--'Don't you know I'm the mother of my husband's childer any time these thirteen long years--and himself coming in every minute may be, Misther Hogan!' says I. 'Gad's blood! Misthress O'Reilly,' says he, 'to the devil I will pitch him, for myself can't do without ye any longer at all!' and down on his knees he went to me at that time, mighty queer; and up he gathers himself again, and comed at me; and I tried to smooth him down with the hot-iron, but he wouldn't be quiet by no manes for me; and a noise comed to the door, and I squaled, and the neighbours comed trembling into the place, and there was an end on't--plase your magistrate." Whilst Mrs. O'Reilly was telling her story, Mr. Hogan stood carefully wiping his hat; and when she had done, the magistrate asked him what he had to say for himself; at the same time telling him he thought he had behaved very grossly. "Devil burn me! your worchip," replied Mr. Hogan--"but I'm just fit to split for spaking! Och! woman, woman! what is there half?----but my _honour's_ consarned, your worchip, and I won't--I won't say nothing, come what will!" The gallant Turncock persisted in this generous forbearance, and he was held to bail to answer for the loving assault at the ensuing Sessions. THE END. Footnotes: [1] This was before the passing of the _New Vagrant Act_-- "When free to follow nature was the mode, And tyrant _tread-mills_ had not shackled man." [2] A tailor, when asked what he is, never replies simply, "I am a _tailor_;" but, "I am a tailor, by _trade_"--thereby seeming to signify that he is not a _tailor_ by _nature_. [3] An _ultra_-napped driving, or box coat. [4] _Toggery_, from the Roman _toga_. [5] _Gumption_, strength, either bodily or mental. [6] _Peel_, to strip, to disrobe. [7] _Done_, caught, beat. [8] A dram, a drop of _max_.