Mornings at Bow Street: A Selection of the Most Humorous and Entertaining Reports which Have Appeared in the 'Morning Herald'Wight, J. (John)
General
Mornings at Bow Street: A Selection of the Most Humorous and Entertaining Reports which Have Appeared in the 'Morning Herald'
Wight, J. (John)
Crime -- England -- London
Robert Hunt, a watchman, deposed, that between twelve and one o'clock in
the middle of the night, he heard a lady's voice crying "Watch!
Watch!--Stop him, Watch!" whereupon he turned himself round about, and
seeing the prisoner, Mr. H., running with all his might, he as in duty
bound, stopped him full butt, and "civilly seizing him by the collar,"
told him he must wait a-bit, till "the lady what _skreeked_ should come
up." But Mr. H., instead of waiting quietly, as a gentleman ought to do,
slipped himself out of his coat, "_momently_ as it were," showed fight,
and gave him two or three desperate "punches on the belly" before he knew
where he was. This being the case, he "twirled his _rackler_," and other
watchmen coming up, Mr. H. was conveyed to the watch-house.
[Illustration: PETTICOAT GOVERNMENT.]
Mr. H., in his defence, gave rather a different account of the matter. It
appeared by his statement that, having occasion to call upon a friend late
on Saturday night, he found that friend was gone to a neighbouring tavern,
and, without thinking any harm, he followed him thither, and having found
him, they sat down to take a friendly glass together; but they had
scarcely got through the first glass of cold brandy-and-water,
with-a-little-sugar-in-it, when, who should come in but his wife, Mrs.
H----y! Now, such a visit, at such an hour, and in such a place, he humbly
submitted to the magistrate, was confoundedly annoying. He told Mrs. H.
that it was extremely indelicate, and desired that she would return home
forthwith, and he would follow her in a few minutes. But no--before all
the company she peremptorily refused to stir an inch without him! What was
to be done? If he departed with her, every body would laugh at him; and
if he remained, she would remain also; thereby making the thing still more
ridiculous. In this dilemma he consulted with his friend; his friend
advised him to go, his own feelings prompted him to stay; but, as matters
were getting worse and worse every minute, he resolved to go--and go he
did. In order, however, to show Mrs. H. that he would not quietly succumb
to petticoat government, exercised in this vexatious manner, he no sooner
got into the street, than he took to his heels and ran away--determined in
his own mind not to go home for an hour or two. But here again Mrs. H. got
the better of him; for he no sooner began to run, than she began to bawl
"Stop him, watch! stop him!" and the watch did stop him--not as the said
watch had deposed, by "_civilly_ collaring him," but by grasping him by
the cravat, and _sticking_ his knuckles against his throat till he was
nearly strangled; and he was verily of opinion that he should literally
have died of the said strangulation if some persons had not providentially
come to his assistance, and forced the watchman to take his hand from his
throat. With respect to the "dreadful _punches_" complained of, he
positively denied having inflicted them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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