The false view of woman’s being instinctively monogamous—The Adam and Eve myth and what it symbolises—Woman’s inevitable power over man—The beginnings of marriage—The maternal form—The personal relationship in marriage dependent on patriarchy—Its advantages in fixing the father to the family and the service of the home—Polygamy the most ancient form of marriage under father-right—Polygamy tends to disappear as social life develops—Monogamy the permanent form of marriage—Its supreme advantage over all other marriage forms—Our preference for monogamy goes beyond laws and religion—It is the best way we have yet found of men and women living together—The stupidity of profligacy—False intellectual views of life and of right and wrong—The sexually masterful lover—Misuse of the word love—The function of passion—Women regard love from a standpoint of unreality—The Christian view of marriage too materialistic and too ascetic—How this has reacted disastrously on marriage—The immense disturbing power of the sex emotions—We need the limiting safeguards of legal marriage—The ideal of faithfulness—The refixing of moral standards. CHAPTER IX MONOGAMOUS MARRIAGE AND WOMAN “It should be remembered that the progress of a nation is stimulated and the stability of society is increased by the most humanising of all institutions, marriage.”—WALTER HEAPE. It is commonly asserted—I am not sure whether it is really believed—that woman is instinctively monogamous, whereas man by his sexual nature is bent towards polygamy. Now, my experience and desire for truth forces me to doubt the reality of this view. I believe that the woman’s superiority in this matter of constancy, even when it is present, is not fundamental to the female character any more than it is fundamental to the character of the male, and, indeed, I am inclined to think that it is the man who in his desire is more bent than woman towards complete faithfulness in the sexual partnership, and if it is the wife who more often is apparently and outwardly constant in marriage than the husband, it is because such conduct is expected of her and has been forced upon her by the conventions of her life. We must see things a little more as they are. Compared with woman, man is a comparatively constant creature, romantic, and not readily moved from his love when once it is fixed. I am very certain that I am right in this. No man leaves a woman till she sends him from her: while she wants him, and _lets him feel that she wants him_, he is hers.