Motherhood and the Relationships of the SexesHartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Philosophy
Motherhood and the Relationships of the Sexes
Hartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Mothers; Sex; Women -- Social and moral questions
This is, of course, a long past story. But such hateful view of marriage
has left in every Christian land an inheritance of evil. The sexual
life was considered impure and a concession to the lower nature in man;
true purity of life was to be attained only in celibacy. Small wonder
that marriage, thus regarded as an escape from worse evil and a cover
to laxity of sexual conduct, is often so immoral. We see at once that
the main evil of this gross misunderstanding of love must have fallen
upon women. The woman was there just to keep the man in condition and
from sin. I can hardly over-estimate the disastrous consequences both to
marriage and to women of this unholy view of the sexual relationship.
The false glorification of asceticism, which denies the true nature of
marriage while at the same time professedly regarding marriage as a
sacrament, has involved a corresponding and unhealthy classifying of love
into higher and lower, the spiritual and the physical; and the action of
this double standard in the sexual life has led, on the one side, to the
setting up of a theoretical ideal of conduct which, as few are able to
follow it, tends to become an empty form, and this, on the other side,
has led to a hidden laxity, within marriage and outside it.
I have emphasised this question of the unholy ascetic view of marriage
because of its unspeakable evil, not only for women, but for the waste
it entails to the race. It is the basis of most of the failures and
diseases in our sexual life. As you know, our moral and religious systems
regard the body as the prison of the soul, and pay consequently no
attention whatever to the body from the moral point of view. I desire a
regeneration of all the instincts of the body through consciousness. I
desire this much more for the health and happiness of women themselves
than I do for the enjoyment of men.
But it is not going to be easy. The education of the senses is quite a
new thing, and it is not even allowed to most women to possess them. The
principle of “re-discovery” will have to be begun. We must teach woman
that she wants love for herself; the man must not claim it from her as a
right he has bought by marriage.
Most women and some men do not realise (at least, they do not openly
acknowledge) the immense disturbing power of sex and the claims the
sexual life makes at some time on us all. To hear many people talk you
would think it were possible to free ourselves at will of all those
troubles and prejudices of sex that are our heritage from an uncountable
past. Love is something fiercer than hand-holding in the darkness of the
cinema, or moon-gazing in the parks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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