Motherhood and the Relationships of the SexesHartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Philosophy
Motherhood and the Relationships of the Sexes
Hartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Mothers; Sex; Women -- Social and moral questions
The sex-needs almost always are dealt with as though they stood apart and
lay out of line with any other need or faculty of our bodies. This is,
in part, due to the secrecy which has kept sex as something mysterious.
We have most of us been trained from our childhood into indecent
secretiveness. But there is as well a deeper reason, and it will be a
long time before we can change it. Sex is so powerful in most of us,
and, when from any cause awakened into consciousness, occupies really so
large a part of our attention, that we are afraid of ourselves, and this
reacts in fear of any open acknowledgment even in our thoughts of our
own sex-needs. Still less can we grant the sex-needs of others, perhaps
stronger and different from our own need.
It is necessary to face very frankly this tremendous force of the
sex-passion, for the most part veiled in discussion. Many women and some
men do not realise at all the immense complications of sex, or understand
the claims that passion makes on many natures. Almost necessarily in
any inquiry into these questions of sexual conduct one’s opinions are
biased by temperament and personal experience. We are dealing with forces
in which the individual element cannot be set aside. It is foolishness
always to preach continence. Sexual abstinence is possible without great
effort for some people, it is not possible for all. I am certain we have
to recognize this fact, and to allow for its action. It is not what we
want people to do, but what they will do, that we are considering.
If we look at the matter practically, it is of course necessary to
remember that this question of the possibility of, as well as the
advantage to be derived from, sexual abstinence is an entirely different
one, as it relates to the time before, or after, the first experience of
love. The sex desires are strong when roused, but when not definitely
aroused, the ideal of chastity asserts itself, and for long periods these
desires may not greatly occupy the conscious imagination. It is clear
that the physical problem cannot be, and ought not to be, considered
apart from the will. Great good in some cases may be done by establishing
control over thought.
It is, however, idle to count on a course of thought and action being
taken by the rough majority among us which so much of our civilisation
and daily environment makes difficult and indeed impossible. A race of
young men and women surrounded with shameful concealments and bred to a
blind acceptance of wrong sexual conditions, accustomed to an atmosphere
of sniggering and suggestiveness in connection with the central facts of
love and life—such a race cannot have, much less practise, an ideal of
true chastity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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