Motherhood and the Relationships of the SexesHartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Philosophy
Motherhood and the Relationships of the Sexes
Hartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Mothers; Sex; Women -- Social and moral questions
I know well that some among my readers, and in particular women, will
say that I am wrong, many will accuse me of exaggerating and complain
that I see sex in everything; the few only will know that I am right.
I would, however, refer all those who doubt to the researches of Freud
and his followers, which have proved in the most conclusive way that the
manifestations of sex may be concealed in numberless guises. Without some
understanding of the “Unconscious” it is useless to attempt to deal with
these questions. We need to realise that the fact of an individual, or
group of individuals, being unconscious of the presence of sex does not
prove that sex is not acting strongly and often harmfully within them.
Nay, we may go further and say that could it be proved that desire was
absent and no sex difficulties of any kind be discovered, this is no
reason why we should necessarily be too satisfied. If no kind of action
is apparent, it is very probable that some deep evil is at work, which
hinders sex from a more healthy and open expression.
I am haunted by the fear that the careless reader will think I am
writing against chastity. This is not so. I would affirm again, with
all the power that I have, that compulsory sexual abstinence may not be
confused with voluntary chastity. We must be very clear in our thought
about this. We can never establish an ideal of true chastity until we
have rooted out from our social life all the unnatural and empty forms
of chastity. The long waiting for marriage which economic and other
causes have forced upon us, more and more increases the difficulties of
maintaining any true chastity. It is a great evil which almost always
wastes the energies of life.
There are very many women (as also these are men) who are moral, because
they are too great cowards to be immoral. The reasons for chastity must
in many cases be sought in the poverty of experience and the difficulty
of obtaining love, in the hard binding of circumstances, and, even more
often, in the terror of being found out. Respectability is the strong
moral safeguard of woman. The conception of faithfulness to one mate (the
true chastity) is as strong in many men as it is in any woman, a fact to
which I gladly bear witness, from my knowledge of the men I have known.
It is too commonly taken for granted that sex-passion is less refined in
men and different from sex-passion in women. I am sure in many cases it
is not true. I am not going to discuss the question further, as it is one
that cannot easily be proved.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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