Motherhood and the Relationships of the SexesHartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Philosophy
Motherhood and the Relationships of the Sexes
Hartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Mothers; Sex; Women -- Social and moral questions
It should be remembered that in children the activity of the intelligence
begins to work at an early age. Curiosity is very prominent: all children
want “to find out.” And their activity will certainly tend to manifest
itself in an inquisitive desire to know many elementary facts of life,
which are dependent upon sex. The primary and most universal of these
desires is the wish to know where babies come from. The degree of
curiosity differs, of course, in different children; I do not think it is
absent from any normal child. If they do not question their elders, they
certainly will talk with one another. And the shy child, or the child
who is kept from other companions, is not saved from these curiosities:
I am inclined to think that the interest is strengthened and made more
dangerous by repression.
Many foolish stories are told by mothers, in their blindness and lack of
faith, to put off the child’s natural desire to learn its origin. There
is a curious illusion that children accept these fables, and really
believe that the baby is found in the garden under the gooseberry tree,
or brought by the stork, or by the doctor in his bag. But the child’s
perception is more acute than is believed, and very rarely is any one
deceived. And the mother forgets that by puzzling the child’s mind with
these foolish stories she defeats very surely the object for which they
are invented. The greater the mystery about sex matters the more will
childish curiosity be aroused. We cannot escape from this. _The child
thinks much less of what it knows and is sure of than of what it does not
know, but wants to find out._
And the same objection, of stimulating instead of quieting curiosity,
applies to the plan adopted by many parents of telling the child when it
asks these questions that it is too young to understand and must wait
until it is older. This postponement is better than inventing foolish
fables and telling lies, but I am sure it is unwise. The mother thinks
the child is satisfied and forgets. Very rarely is this the case; the
child puzzles alone, its curiosity only quickened by the hurt that has
been given to its sensitive young intelligence. A wide experience has
taught me that the only children who do not talk or think much about the
origin of babies are the children who know how babies are born.
The silly stories told by parents are supplemented by equally absurd
and often seriously injurious conversations with other children. Many
servants of both sexes are addicted to idle and irreverent, even if not
vicious, talk upon this subject, and by this means the views of many
children, and even their whole future outlook, upon sex are distorted and
besmirched. This is particularly the case with boys, where any intimacy
with servants is much more dangerous than a similar intimacy in the case
of girls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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