Begin real life together. That is the true way, all the sweeter and happier if you begin small. The less style and display there is, the more time each will have to study the home character of the one they have accepted as a companion for life, and the better opportunity to learn easily how to bear and forbear, to tone down such peculiarities as are not conducive to mutual confidence and harmony. In all characters there will be such peculiarities,--it is quite right there should be,--but by carrying the same gentleness and courtesy into domestic life which was so easily and naturally given in the days of courtship, yielding a little, giving up one to the other, the early wedded become assimilated, and find in their union an ever-increasing joy, which a later marriage, when the habits become fixed and unyielding, seldom realizes. “But to begin life in a small way, with limited means, subjects one to much drudgery and many deprivations; besides, we lose caste. Those who knew us in our father’s house, surrounded with comfort and luxury, would scarcely deign to notice us if found in circumstances so at variance with our parents’ mode of life.” Such friends are scarcely worth the securing. You have outgrown babyhood and childhood, and, having entered upon man’s and woman’s estate, surely do not expect to be always cradled in your parents’ arms; but if you are of any worth you should cheerfully accept life as you find it. “Its rough ascents or flowing slopes,” if trod together and in love, will insure genuine happiness, and we often think one stores up quite as much real pleasure while passing through the rough places as when walking among the flowers. We know that the retrospection is often a source of unfailing enjoyment. Many, we are aware, find great delight in selecting the house that is to be their home, and furnishing it as elaborately and tastefully as their means will permit, perhaps even beyond a safe limit, and then _surprising_ the bride by ushering her into this unexpected establishment. The surprise is doubtless effected, but although the annoyance may be concealed, in nine cases out of ten we venture to say it is keenly felt. When possible, both should act together in selecting the house, or it may be “rooms,” where is to be their home, and the taste and judgment of both be consulted in selecting the furniture which they expect to have before their eyes daily. In examining and counseling together frequently, they modify each other’s tastes, and in the end are far better satisfied than if either had done the work alone. The money for furnishing a house is often provided as a part of the bride’s outfit, and of course, if she chooses so to consider the matter, it is her right to select the furniture, without consulting another’s taste or wishes. But the older we grow the more we are satisfied that _my rights_ should be erased from the matrimonial dictionary, and _our rights_ substituted. XXXIV. CARE IN SELECTING A HOUSE.