"'Gr-reat hivins!' says th' coort; an' they wint out through th'
windows.
"That night they was gr-reat excitement in Rennes. Th' citizens
dhrivin home their cows cud har'ly make their way through th' excited
throngs on th' sthreet. Th' corryspondints iv th' English papers do
not dare to go to bed befure nine o'clock on account iv rumors iv a
gin'ral massacre. Madame Sara Bernhardt gave a magnificint performance
at th' theaytre, an' was wildly cheered. It was believed in London,
Budapesth, Posen, New York, Cookham, an' Upper Sandusky that Fr-rance
is about to perish. As I go to press, th' news has excited no commint
in Fr-rance."
THE DREYFUS CASE.
III.
"While th' thrillin' scenes I'm tellin' ye about is goin' on,
Hinnissy, worse is bein' enacted in beautiful Paris. In that lovely
city with its miles an' miles iv sparklin' resthrants,--la belly
Paree, as Hogan 'd say,--th' largest American city in th' wurruld, a
rivolution's begun. If ye don't believe it, read th' pa-apers. They've
arrested a pote. That was all r-right; f'r Fr-rance is sufferin' fr'm
too much pothry that 'll scan, as Hogan says, an' too much morality
that won't. They ought to be a rule f'r th' polis to pinch anny pote
caught poting between th' hours iv twelve an' twelve. But th' mistake
th' chief iv th' polis made was to r-run in a butcher at th' same
time. What th' butcher done I dinnaw; but annyhow they accused him iv
wantin' to poleaxe th' governmint; an' they thrun him into a cell. Now
th' butcher he had a frind be th' name iv Guerin,--an Irish name it
is, but this la-ad don't appear to be wan iv us,--Jools Guerin. He was
wanst in th' thripe business; but he is now r-runnin' a newspaper,
like most iv th' people iv Fr-rance. As a thripe butcher, his
circulation was larger an' among a betther class than his newspaper.
Bein' a la-ad with a fine sinse iv gratichood, an' havin' been wanst
fed an' clothed be a Jew man, he calls his pa-aper th' Anti-Jew; an'
its principle is, whin ye see a Jew, hand him a crack in th' jaw. 'Tis
a good principle, though I wanst knew a man be th' name iv Solomon
Felsenthal, that was known in th' ring as Mike Gallegher, th'
Tipp'rary Cyclone, as a thribute to th' feelin's iv th' pathrons iv
spoort; an', if Jools had thried to carry out his platform with Solly,
they'd be no siege in Fort Chabrool. Not anny. That Jew man 'd been
champeen iv th' wurruld if all iv him cud 've kept out iv close
quarthers with th' man again him.
"I don't quarrel with Jools' feelin's, mind ye. 'Tis th' histhry iv
th' wurruld that th' Jews takes our watches fr'm us be tin per cint a
month, an' we take thim back be means iv a jimmy an' a piece iv lead
pipe. They're on'y two known methods iv finance,--bankin' an'
burglary. Th' Jews has th' first down fine, but all th' rest iv th'
wurruld is at home in th' second. So Jools's all r-right as far as he
goes. But he don't go far.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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