In the selection of a costume, a lady should remember that it is good to be "smart," but better still to be well. Finally, it is desirable to bear in mind that, pleasant as riparian life may be, Henley is, after all, a regatta, and that consequently some sort of attention should be paid to the racing. * * * * * [Illustration: GASTRONOMERS AFLOAT _Mrs. Fleshpottle._ "Well, I must say, Mrs. Gumblewag, I like something substantial for _my_ dinner. Nothing, I think, can be better than some pea-soup to begin with; then a biled leg of mutton with plenty of fat, with turnips and caper sauce; then some tripe and onions, and one or two nice suet dumplings as a finish!" _Mrs. Gumblewag._ "For my part, mum, I prefer something more tasty and flavoursome-like. Now, a well-cooked bullock's heart, to be followed by some liver and bacon, and a dish of greens. Afterwards a jam bolster, and a black pudding, and some toasted cheese to top up with, is what I call a dinner fit for a----" [_Mr. Doddlewig does not wait to hear any more!_ ] * * * * * MORE HINTS FOR HENLEY (_For the use of Visitors, Male and Female_) Take an umbrella to keep off the rain--unopened. Beware of encouraging burnt-cork minstrels, or incurring their resentment. Remember, it is not every houseboat that is sufficiently hospitable to afford lunch. After all, a travel down from town in the train is better than the discomforts of dawn on the river in a houseboat. Six hours of enforced company is a strong order for the best of friends, sometimes leading to incipient enmity. A canoe for two is a pleasant distraction if the man is equal to keeping from an upset in the water. Flirting is a not unpleasant accompaniment to an _alfresco_ lunch with well-iced liquids. If you really wish to make a favourable impression upon everyone, be cheery, contented, good-natured, and, above all, slightly interested in the racing. * * * * * [Illustration: _Enthusiastic Skipper._ "Aha! my boy! You can't do this sort of thing on shore!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SQUALLY WEATHER--MAKING ALL "TAUT"] * * * * * FURTHER REGULATIONS FOR HENLEY (_Under the Consideration of the Thames Conservancy_) No piano playing shall be permitted on houseboats during the racing, so that the attention of coxswains shall not be thereby distracted. To avoid a crowd collecting on the course, no craft shall be permitted to leave the shores between the hours of 6 A.M. and 9 P.M. To preserve decorum, only lemonade and ginger-beer shall be drunk during the illuminations, and fireworks shall henceforth be restricted to one squib and a couple of crackers to each houseboat.