How much we should have been spared had George IV only weighed 15 lbs. and stopped at 25 inches! How much would have been saved merely in tailors' bills, and how many pavilions for his dwarf majesty might have been built at a hundredth part of the cost that was swallowed by the royal folly at Brighton! The Georges, it may be remarked, were no favourites of _Punch_, nor was this to be wondered at when one recalls their treatment at the hands of Thackeray, the least democratic member of the staff. _Punch_ considered that Brummell was a better man than his "fat friend," and consigned the latter to infamy in the following caustic epitaph, one of a series on the Four Georges:-- GEORGIUS ULTIMUS He left an example for age and for youth To avoid. He never acted well by Man or Woman, And was as false to his Mistress as to his Wife. He deserted his Friends and his Principles. He was so ignorant that he could scarcely spell; But he had some skill in cutting out Coats, And an undeniable Taste for Cookery. He built the Palaces of Brighton and of Buckingham, And for these Qualities and Proofs of Genius, An admiring Aristocracy Christened him the "First Gentleman in Europe." Friends, respect the KING whose Statue is here, And the generous Aristocracy who admired him. In the same year _Punch_, with malicious inventiveness, represented Queen Victoria in the act of unveiling a great statue to Shakespeare on Shakespeare Cliff, adding as her epitaph: "She rarely went to the Italian Opera and she raised a statue to Shakespeare." In these agilities _The Times_ again proved a useful ally, for in the same number we find the following:-- HIGH TREASON A traitor, who signs himself "Alpha," and writes in _The Times_, writes thus:-- "It is no use to conceal the fact--British high art _is hated at Court, and dreaded by the aristocracy_. They don't want it; they can't afford it; they think any art, which does not cultivate their vanity or domestic affections, can have no earthly use!" We trust that the writer of the above will be immediately committed to the Tower, there, in due season, to be brought to the block. [Illustration: TRAINING SCHOOL FOR LADIES ABOUT TO APPEAR AT COURT] It was a letter in _The Times_ that again prompted _Punch's_ remonstrance, in July, 1845, against the Queen's preference for French milliners, and an historical contrast is rubbed in by the article on the imaginary "Royal Poetry Books," or didactic poems, for the benefit of the Royal infants, of which two specimens may be quoted:-- THE NEW SINGER OF ITALY There was a new Singer of Italy Who went through his part very prettily; "Mamma tinks him so fine, We must have him to dine!" Papa remarked slily and wittily. THE OLD SINGER OF AVON