Mr Punch's Model Music Hall Songs and Dramas: Collected, Improved and Re-arranged from PunchAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Model Music Hall Songs and Dramas: Collected, Improved and Re-arranged from Punch
Anstey, F.
Humorous songs -- England -- Texts; Musicals -- Librettos -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Revues -- Librettos -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
_Fanny._ She ought to be--for a guinea!
Here, you may nurse her for a little while.
Be careful, for her frock’s the latest style.
[_Gives_ BLAN. _the wax doll_.
She’s the best wax, and has three changes of clothing--
For those cheap wooden dolls I’ve quite a loathing.
_Bl._ (_hastily_). Oh, so have _I_--they’re not to be endured!
_Re-enter_ BRUNETTE _with the wooden doll, which she tries to press
upon_ BLANCHIDINE, _much to the latter’s confusion_.
_Br._ I’ve brought poor Timburina back, completely cured!
Why, aren’t you pleased? Your face is looking _so_ cloudy!
_F._ (_haughtily_). Is she a friend of _yours_--this little
dowdy? [_Slow music._
_Bl._ (_after an internal struggle_). Oh, no, what an idea!
Why, I don’t even know her by name!
Some vulgar child ...
[_Lets the wax doll fall unregarded on the gravel._
_Br._ (_indignantly_). Oh, what a horrid shame!
I see _now_ why you sent us to the Serpentine!
_Bl._ (_heartlessly_). There’s no occasion to flare up like turpentine.
_Br._ (_ungrammatically_). I’m _not_! Disown your doll, and
thrust me, too, aside!
The one thing left for both of us is--suicide!
Yes, Timburina, us no more she cherishes--
(_Bitterly._) Well, the Round Pond a handy place to perish is!
[_Rushes off stage with wooden doll._
_Bl._ (_making a feeble attempt to follow_). Come back,
Brunette; don’t leave me thus, in charity!
_F._ (_with contempt_). Well, I’ll be off--since you seem to
prefer vulgarity.
_Bl._ No, stay--but--ah, she said--what if she _meant_ it?
_F._ Not she! And, if she did, _we_ can’t prevent it.
_Bl._ (_relieved_). That’s true--we’ll play, and think no more about
her.
_F._ (_sarcastically_). We may _just_ manage to get on without her!
So come----(_Perceives doll lying face upwards on path._)
You odious girl, what have you done?
Left Lady Minnie lying in the blazing sun!
’Twas done on purpose--oh, you _thing_ perfidious! [_Stamps._
You _knew_ she’d melt, and get completely hideous!
Don’t answer _me_, Miss--I wish we’d never met.
You’re only fit for persons like Brunette!
[_Picks up doll, and exit in passion._
_Grand Sensation Descriptive Soliloquy, by_ BLANCHIDINE, _to
Melodramatic Music_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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