England -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Hunting stories
'Humph!' grunted Jack, who didn't see how.
'There's mischief about that fellow,' continued his lordship, pouring
himself out half a tumbler of gin, and filling it up with water. 'There's
mischief about the fellow. I don't like his looks--I don't like his coat--I
don't like his boots--I don't like anything about him. I'd rather see the
back of him than the front. He must be got rid of,' added his lordship.
'Well, I did my best to-day, I'm sure,' replied Jack. 'I was deuced near
wanting the patent coffin you were so good as to promise me.'
'You did your work well,' replied his lordship; 'you did your work well;
and you shall have my other specs till I can get you a new pair from town;
and if you'll serve me again, I'll remember you in my will--I'll leave you
something handsome.'
'I'm your man,' replied Jack.
'I never was so bothered with a fellow in my life,' observed his lordship.
'Captain Topsawyer was bad enough, and always pressed far too close on the
hounds, but he would pull up at a check; but this rusty-booted 'bomination
seems to think the hounds are kept for him to ride over. He must be got rid
of somehow,' repeated his lordship; 'for we shall have no peace while he's
here.'
'If he's after either of the Jawley girls, he'll be bad to shake off,'
observed Jack.
'That's just the point,' replied his lordship, quaffing off his gin with
the air of a man most thoroughly thirsty; 'that's just the point,' repeated
he, setting down his tumbler. 'I think if he is, I could cook his goose for
him.'
'How so?' asked Jack, drinking off his glass.
'Why, I'll tell you,' replied his lordship, replenishing his tumbler, and
passing the old gilt-labelled blue bottle over to Jack; 'you see, Frosty's
a cunning old file, picks up all the news and gossip of the country when
he's out at exercise with the hounds, or in going to cover--knows
everything!--who licks his wife, and whose wife licks him--who's after such
a girl, and so on--and he's found out somehow that this Mr.
What's-his-name isn't the man of metal he's passing for.'
'Indeed,' exclaimed Jack, raising his eyebrows, and squinting his eyes
inside out; Jack's opinion of a man being entirely regulated by his purse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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