England -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Hunting stories
'I shall also want a couple of whips--not fellows like waiters from
_Crawley's_ hotel, but light, active _men_, not boys. I'll have nothin' to
do with boys; every boy requires a man to look arter him. No; a couple of
short, light, active men--say from five-and-twenty to thirty, with bow-legs
and good cheery voices, as nearly of the same make as you can find them. I
shall not give them large wage, you know; but they will have opportunities
of improving themselves under me, and qualifying themselves for high
places. But mind, they _must be steady_--I'll keep no unsteady servants;
the first act of drunkenness, with me, is the last.
'I shall also want a second horseman; and here I wouldn't mind a mute boy
who could keep his elbows down and never touch the curb; but he must be
bred in the line; a huntsman's second horseman is a critical article, and
the sporting world must not be put in mourning for Dick Bragg. The lad will
have to clean my boots, and wait at table when I have company--yourself,
for instance.
'This is only a poor, rough, ungentlemanly sort of shire, as far as I have
seen it; and however they got on with the things I found that they called
hounds I can't for the life of me imagine. I understand they went stringing
over the country like a flock of wild geese. However, I have rectified that
in a manner by knocking all the fast 'uns and slow 'uns on the head; and I
shall require at least twenty couple before I can take the field. In your
official report of what your old file puts back, you'll have the kindness
to cobble us up good long pedigrees, and carry half of them at least back
to the Beaufort Justice. My man has got a crochet into his head about that
hound, and I'm dimmed if he doesn't think half the hounds in England are
descended from the Beaufort Justice. These hounds are at present called the
Mangeysternes, a very proper title, I should say, from all I've seen and
heard. That, however, must be changed; and we must have a button struck,
instead of the plain pewter plates the men have been in the habit of
hunting in.
'As to horses, I'm sure I don't know what we are to do in that line. Our
pastrycook seems to think that a hunter, like one of his pa's pies, can be
made and baked in a day. He talks of going over to Rowdedow Fair, and
picking some up himself; but I should say a gentleman demeans himself sadly
who interferes with the just prerogative of the groom. It has never been
allowed I know in any place I have lived; nor do I think servants do
justice to themselves or their order who submit to it. Howsomever the
crittur has what Mr. Cobden would call the "raw material" for sport--that
is to say, plenty of money--and I must see and apply it in such a way as
will produce it. I'll do the thing as it should be, or not at all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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