England -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Hunting stories
Though his lordship lived so much by himself he was neither _gauche_ nor
stupid when he went into society. Unlike Mr. Spraggon, he had a tremendous
determination of words to the mouth, and went best pace with his tongue
instead of coughing and hemming, and stammering and stuttering--wishing
himself 'well out of it,' as the saying is. His seclusion only seemed to
sharpen his faculties and make him enjoy society more. He gushed forth like
a pent-up fountain. He was not a bit afraid of the ladies--rather the
contrary; indeed, he would make love to them all--all that were
good-looking, at least, for he always candidly said that he 'wouldn't have
anything to do with the ugly 'uns.' If anything, he was rather too
vehement, and talked to the ladies in such an earnest, interested sort of
way, as made even bystanders think there was 'something in it,' whereas, in
point of fact, it was mere manner.
He began as soon as ever he got to Jawleyford Court--at least, as soon as
he had paid his respects all round and got himself partially thawed at the
fire; for the cold had struck through his person, his fine clothes being a
poor substitute for his thick double-milled red coat, blankety waistcoat,
and Jersey shirt.
There are some good-natured, well-meaning people in this world who think
that fox-hunters can talk of nothing but hunting, and who put themselves to
very serious inconvenience in endeavouring to get up a little conversation
for them. We knew a bulky old boy of this sort, who invariably, after the
cloth was drawn, and he had given each leg a kick out to see if they were
on, commenced with, 'Well, I suppose, Mr. Harkington has a fine set of dogs
this season?' 'A fine set of dogs this season! 'What an observation! How on
earth could any one hope to drive a conversation on the subject with such a
commencement?
Some ladies are equally obliging in this respect. They can stoop to almost
any subject that they think will procure them husbands. Music!--if a man is
fond of music, they will sing themselves into his good graces in no time.
Painting!--oh, they adore painting--though in general they don't profess to
be great hands at it themselves. Balls, boating, archery, racing--all these
they can take a lively interest in; or, if occasion requires, can go on
the serious tack and hunt a parson with penny subscriptions for a
clothing-club or soup-kitchen.
Fox-hunting!--we do not know that fox-hunting is so safe a speculation for
young ladies as any of the foregoing. There are many pros and cons in the
matter of the chase. A man may think--especially in these hard times, with
'wheat below forty,' as Mr. Springwheat would say--that it will be as much
as he can do to mount himself. Again, he may not think a lady looks any
better for running down with perspiration, and being daubed with mud. Above
all, if he belongs to the worshipful company of Craners, he may not like
for his wife to be seen beating him across country.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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