England -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Hunting stories
'Ah, the price must be left to a third party,' said Jack. 'The principle of
the thing is this,' continued he, enlisting the aid of his fingers to
illustrate his position: 'Mr. Pacey, here,' said he, applying the
forefinger of his right hand to the thumb of the left, looking earnestly at
Sponge, but in reality squinting up at the chandelier--'Mr. Pacey here
challenges your horse Multum-in-somethin'--I forget what you said you call
him--but the nag I rode to-day. Well, then,' continued Jack, 'you'
(demonstrating Sponge by pressing his two forefingers together, and holding
them erect) 'accept the challenge, but can challenge anything Mr. Pacey
has--a horse, dog, gun--anything; and, having fixed on somethin' then a
third party' (who Jack represented by cocking up his thumb), 'any one you
like to name, makes the award. Well, having agreed upon that party' (Jack
still cocking up the thumb to represent the arbitrator), 'he says, "Give
me money." The two then put, say half a crown or five shillin's each, into
his hand, to which the arbitrator adds the same sum for himself. That being
done, the arbitrator says, "Hands in pockets, gen'lemen."' (Jack diving his
right hand up to the hilt in his own.) 'If this be an award, Mr. Pacey's
horse gives Mr. Sponge's horse so much--draw.' (Jack suiting the action to
the word, and laying his fist on the table.) 'If each person's hand
contains money, it is an award--it is a deal; and the arbitrator gets the
half-crowns, or whatever it is, for his trouble; so that, in course, he has
a direct interest in makin' such an award as will lead to a deal. _Now_ do
you understand?' continued Jack, addressing himself earnestly to Sponge.
'I think I do,' replied Sponge who had been at the game pretty often.
'Well, then,' continued Jack, reverting to his original position, 'my
friend, Mr. Pacey here, challenges your chestnut.'
'No, never mind,' muttered Pacey peevishly, in an undertone, with a frown
on his face, giving Jack a dig in the ribs with his elbow. 'Never mind,'
repeated he; '_I_ don't care about it--_I_ don't want the horse.'
'But _I_ do,' growled Jack, adding, in an undertone also, as he stooped for
his napkin, 'don't spoil sport, man; he's as good a horse as ever stepped;
and if you'll challenge him, I'll stand between you and danger.'
'But he may challenge something I don't want to part with,' observed Pacey.
'Then you've nothin' to do,' replied Jack, 'but bring up your hand without
any money in it.'
'Ah! I forgot,' replied Pacey, who did not like not to appear what he
called 'fly.' 'Well, then, I challenge your chestnut!' exclaimed he,
perking up, and shouting up the table to Sponge.
'Good!' replied our friend. 'I challenge your watch and chain, then,'
looking at Pacey's chain-daubed vest.
'Name _me_ arbitrator,' muttered Jack, as he again stooped for his napkin.
'Who shall handicap us? Captain Guano, Mr. Lumpleg, or who?' asked Sponge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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