England -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Hunting stories
All these gentlemen severally bobbed their heads as Sir Harry called them
over, and then resumed their respective occupations--eating, drinking, and
smoking.
These were some of the debauched gentlemen Mr. Sponge had seen before
Nonsuch House in the morning. They were all captains, or captains by
courtesy. Ladofwax had been a painter and glazier in the Borough, where he
made the acquaintance of Captain Quod, while that gentleman was an inmate
of Captain Hudson's strong house. Captain Bouncey was the too well-known
betting-office keeper; and Seedeybuck was such a constant customer of Mr.
Commissioner Fonblanque's court, that that worthy legal luminary, on
discharging him for the fifth time, said to him, with a very significant
shake of the head, 'You'd better not come here again, sir.' Seedeybuck,
being of the same opinion, had since fastened himself on to Sir Harry
Scattercash, who found him in meat, drink, washing, and lodging. They were
all attired in red coats, of one sort or another, though some of which were
of a very antediluvian, and others of a very dressing-gown cut. Bouncey's
had a hare on the button, and Seedeybuck's coat sat on him like a sack.
Still a scarlet coat is a scarlet coat in the eyes of some, and the coats
were not a bit more unsportsmanlike than the men. To Mr. Sponge's
astonishment, instead of breaking out in inquiries as to where they had run
to, the time, the distance, who was up, who was down, and so on, they began
recommending the victuals and drink; and this, notwithstanding Mr. Sponge
kept flourishing the brush.
'We've had a rare run,' said he, addressing himself to Sir Harry.
'Have you (hiccup)? I'm glad of it (hiccup). Pray have something to
(hiccup) after it; you _must_ be (hiccup).'
'Let me help you to some of this cold round of beef?' exclaimed Captain
Bouncey, brandishing the great broad-bladed carving knife.
'Have a slice of 'ot 'am,' suggested Captain Quod.
'The finest run I ever rode!' observed Mr. Sponge, still endeavouring to
get a hearing.
'Dare say it would,' replied Sir Harry;' those (hiccup) hounds of mine are
uncommon (hiccup).' He didn't know what they were, and the hiccup came very
opportunely.
'The pace was terrific!' exclaimed Sponge.
'Dare say it would,' replied Sir Harry; 'and that's what makes me (hiccup)
you're so (hiccup). Pea, here, has some rare old October--(hiccup) bushels
to the (hiccup) hogshead.' 'It's capital!' exclaimed Captain Seedeybuck,
frothing himself a tumblerful out of the tall brown jug.
'So is this,' rejoined Captain Quod, pouring himself out a liberal
allowance of gin.
'That horse of mine carried me MAG_nificently_!' observed Mr. Sponge, with
a commanding emphasis on the MAG.
'Dare say he would,' replied Sir Harry; 'he looked like a (hiccup)er--a
white 'un, wasn't he?'
'No; a _brown_,' replied Mr. Sponge, disgusted at the mistake.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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