Now and then somebody would come in with a sound of closing umbrellas,
and swinging of the doors, and come noisily up the aisle and drop into a
pew. Girls, like Sarah Jane, in cheap hats with cheaper feathers, who
sat and whispered, and laughed, and looked about them, and women of Mrs.
Bates’ own type, with big shawls and nondescript bonnets, came to see
the Bates’ triumph with no very friendly sympathy. The dreariest scene!
Durant sat behind and looked at it all with his heart beating. In the
general commotion in which his mind was, he too could have cried as Lucy
was doing over Arthur. How different was all this from the circumstances
that ought to have attended the “happiest day of his life;” would it be
the happiest day of his life;--or perhaps the most miserable? And yet,
if the spectator could have taken the hand of that pale girl in front of
him, and led her up to that dingy altar, how soon would he have
forgotten all the circumstances! The damp-breathing place, the clammy
pews, the squalor of the rain, the absence of all beauty and tokens of
delight, what would they have done but make his happiness show all the
brighter? Would the effect be the same with Arthur too? They had very
soon an opportunity of judging; for Arthur came in suddenly by himself,
looking anything but ecstatic. Fortunately, Durant thought, Lucy did not
see him, her head being bent and covered with her hands. But Durant
himself watched the bridegroom with feelings which he could not have
described, a mixture of pity, and envy, and fellow-feeling, and
contempt. That a man who was the brother of Lucy Curtis should throw
away everything for Nancy Bates! and yet to have it in your power to
throw away everything for love, to give the woman you had chosen, if
she were only Nancy Bates, such a proof of affection, absolute and
unmixed! But Arthur scarcely seemed conscious himself of that fine
position. He was very pale, with an excited look about the eyes which
gave him a worn and exhausted aspect. He was feeling to the bottom of
his soul the squalor, the dinginess, the damp, and the gloom. What a day
it was to be married on! What a place to be married in! What dismal
surroundings? old Bates and Charley, and the uncle from Wapping, and not
one familiar face to look kindly at him, to wish him happiness in a
voice that was dear. He sat down in the front, gazing blankly, like
Durant, at the oaktree that shed a little colour from its autumn leaves.
It reminded him, by some fantastic trick of association, of the trees at
home. Would he ever see that home again? The disjunction from everything
he had cared for, from all he knew, came over him with a forlorn sense
of desolation and solitude--on his wedding-day! Arthur felt he was
doing wrong to his bride, but how could he help it? He, too, covered his
face with his hands. Durant felt that if Lucy saw him she would rush to
him in indifference to all appearances, but she did not know he had
passed her so quietly, all alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account