commission of investigation into certain legal evils then under the
consideration of Parliament. The sudden pleasure of distinction among
his peers, altogether apart from the profit of it, conveyed a swift and
penetrating pleasure to his mind, and altogether overset the impatient
patience which so many thoughts had already put in jeopardy. A little
success often in such circumstances fires the mine which weariness and
reflection and comparison have been filling with combustibles. Why
should he drag on any longer dully, without even an attempt to brighten
his own life? The man who blacked his shoes, secure of weekly
remuneration, had just “thrown up his place,” and risked his existence,
in order to “better himself;” and why should not the master try to
better himself too? This sudden impulse set him all on fire. What was
the use of his self-denial, his renunciation of all pleasant things?
They who would have them, must seize them, without all this reckoning
of possibilities and counting of cost. Durant was not superior to that
almost fierce independence which, like all good that comes out of evil,
has its false side. The dependence and incessant demands of his family
had made him stern in his resolution to owe no man anything, to struggle
out his own career unaided; and had also made him too proud to ask any
favour in his own person, even a night’s lodging from the friends whom
he had served with all the humbleness of true generosity when occasion
offered. He would have spent time, which was more valuable to him than
money is to most people, or money, of which he did not possess too large
a stock, in the service of the Curtises, whenever they called upon him;
but he would not ask them to invite him, or even suggest that he would
like to be invited. This was one of the _défauts de ses qualités_. So it
took him a little trouble to get himself to Oakley in a roundabout way.
He did this by means of a college friend, who had a living within a
dozen miles, and to whom he had no objection to offer himself for a
short visit; and being there, what so natural as that he should drive
over to Oakley for a few hours? He did this a few days after the visit
of Lady Curtis to Nancy, and appeared suddenly in the morning, conscious
and anxious, while the family were still at breakfast.
“I thought I’d run down and see Cavendish at Stainforth,” he said,
feeling the weakness of the excuse.
“Cavendish at Stainforth!” Lady Curtis echoed, turning pale. She saw
through the pretence, but she did not see through the cause of it. If it
was her son who immediately occurred to her mind, what mother will blame
her? She ignored all motives of his own on Durant’s part with pitiless,
though unconscious cruelty; and left the table precipitately, her heart
beating with sudden agitation. “Oh, Lewis, something has happened to
Arthur; and you have come to break it to me!” she said, turning round
upon him as he followed her into her morning-room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account