she was, who was a part of him, who had no one now but himself, and who,
by rejecting that last material tie between them, had caught back the
sick heart which had begun to flutter downward. But never, never again
could he fall back into that disgusted and weary infidelity of thought.
All this time his pride and his reviving affection had kept him from
communicating his anxiety to his family. They did not know Nancy as he
did, they would not think of her as he did, that was certain. Their
pride would be hurt by the idea of poverty or distress falling upon her,
but not their hearts touched. If they should happen to hear of her as
labouring perhaps for daily bread, a poor needlewoman, a poorer teacher,
they would think of her not nobly, but ignobly, as driven to it by
folly, not forced by proud independence. He would not say anything to
them. He did not even let them know that he was coming back. Whether he
went to Oakley or not would depend upon many other things, and he was
full of the unconscious cruelty which springs from pre-occupation and
partial indifference. He did not think what would be the feelings of his
father and mother when they heard he was in England, but as much apart
from them as if he were still in Vienna. What were they in comparison
with Nancy? Nancy who was young, poor, lonely, without guardian or
helper. All the fathers and mothers in the world were nothing compared
with her. This is not a pleasant consideration for the fathers and
mothers; but yet it was true.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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