"Well, now it's come to something! But it's always the case! Whenever you've seen that Miss Prettyman, I'm sure to be abused. A hedgehog! A pretty thing for a woman to be called by her husband! Now you don't think I'll lie quietly in bed, and be called a hedgehog--do you, Mr. Caudle? "Well, I only hope Miss Prettyman had a good dinner, that's all. I had none! You know I had none--how was I to get any? You know that the only part of the turkey I care for is the merry-thought. And that, of course, went to Miss Prettyman. Oh, I saw you laugh when you put it on her plate! And you don't suppose, after such an insult as that, I'd taste another thing upon the table? No, I should hope I have more spirit than that. Yes; and you took wine with her four times. What do you say? "ONLY TWICE? "Oh, you were so lost--fascinated, Mr. Caudle; yes, fascinated--that you didn't know what you did. However, I do think while I'm alive I might be treated with respect at my own table. I say, while I'm alive; for I know I sha'n't last long, and then Miss Prettyman may come and take it all. I'm wasting daily, and no wonder. I never say anything about it, but every week my gowns are taken in. "I've lived to learn something, to be sure! Miss Prettyman turned up her nose at my custards. It isn't sufficient that you are always finding fault yourself, but you must bring women home to sneer at me at my own table. What do you say? "SHE DIDN'T TURN UP HER NOSE? "I know she did; not but what it's needless--Providence has turned it up quite enough for her already. And she must give herself airs over my custards! Oh, I saw her mincing with the spoon as if she was chewing sand. What do you say? "SHE PRAISED MY PLUM-PUDDING? "Who asked her to praise it? Like her impudence, I think! "Yes, a pretty day I've passed. I shall not forget this wedding-day, I think! And as I say, a pretty speech you made in the way of thanks. No, Caudle, if I was to live a hundred years--you needn't groan, Mr. Caudle, I shall not trouble you half that time--if I was to live a hundred years, I should never forget it. Never! You didn't even so much as bring one of your children into your speech. And--dear creatures!--what have THEY done to offend you? No; I shall not drive you mad. It's you, Mr. Caudle, who'll drive me mad. Everybody says so. "And you suppose I didn't see how it was managed that you and THAT Miss Prettyman were always partners at whist? "HOW WAS IT MANAGED? "Why, plain enough. Of course you packed the cards, and could cut what you liked. You'd settled that between you. Yes; and when she took a trick, instead of leading off a trump--she play whist, indeed!--what did you say to her, when she found it was wrong? Oh-- it was impossible that HER heart should mistake! And this, Mr. Caudle, before people--with your own wife in the room!