Mrs. CraddockMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Mrs. Craddock
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Marriage -- Fiction
“Oh, Bertha, please forgive me. I was wrong, and I’ve behaved wickedly
to you.”
“My dear Fanny,” murmured Bertha, a smile breaking through her misery.
“I withdraw every word I said to you, Bertha; I can’t understand how I
said it. I humbly beg your forgiveness.”
“There is nothing to forgive.”
“Oh, yes, there is. Good heavens, I know! My conscience has been
reproaching me ever since I was here, but I hardened my heart, and would
not listen.”
Poor Miss Glover could not really have hardened her heart, however much
she tried.
“I knew I ought to come to you and beg your forgiveness, but I wouldn’t.
I’ve not slept a wink at night. I was afraid of dying, and if I’d been
cut off in the midst of my wickedness, I should have been lost.”
She spoke very quickly, finding it evidently a relief to express her
trouble.
“I thought Charles would upbraid me, but he’s never said a word. Oh, I
wish he had, it would have been easier to bear than his sorrowful look.
I know he’s been worrying dreadfully, and I’m so sorry for him. I kept
on saying I’d only done my duty, but in my heart I knew I had done
wrong. Oh Bertha, and this morning I dared not take communion, I thought
God would strike me for blasphemy. And I was afraid Charles would refuse
me in front of the whole congregation.... It’s the first Sunday since I
was confirmed, that I’ve missed taking Holy Communion.”
She buried her face in her hands, crying. Bertha heard her, almost
listlessly; for her own trouble was overwhelming and she could not think
of any other. Miss Glover raised her face, tear-stained and red; it was
positively hideous, but notwithstanding, very pathetic.
“Then I couldn’t bear it any longer,” she said. “I thought if I begged
your pardon I might be able to forgive myself. Oh, Bertha, please forget
what I said, and forgive me. And I fancied that Edward would be here
to-day, and the thought of exposing myself before him too was almost
more than I could bear. But I knew the humiliation would be good for me.
Oh, I was so thankful when Jane said he was out.... What can I do to
earn your forgiveness?”
In her heart of hearts, Miss Glover desired some horrible penance which
would thoroughly mortify her flesh.
“I have already forgotten all about it,” said Bertha, smiling wearily.
“If my forgiveness is worth anything, I forgive you entirely.”
Miss Glover was a little pained at Bertha’s manifest indifference, yet
took it as a just punishment.
“And Bertha, let me say that I love you and admire you more than any one
after Charles. If you really think what you said the other day, I still
love you and hope God will turn your heart. Charles and I will pray for
you night and day, and soon I hope the Almighty will send you another
child to take the place of the one you lost. Believe me, God is very
good and merciful, and He will grant you what you wish.”
Bertha gave a low cry of pain. “I can never have another child.... Dr.
Ramsay told me it was impossible.”
“Oh, Bertha, I didn’t know.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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