Mrs. Essington: The Romance of a House-partyChamberlain, Esther
General
Mrs. Essington: The Romance of a House-party
Chamberlain, Esther
California -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Country homes -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“Well, I wish you’d be one for yourself,” he said bluntly.
Florence bit her lip. She was hating to face what she knew she finally
must.
“Don’t you remember,” he went on, “a few days ago you said you would
have something to tell me on our way back to town?”
A few days ago! Could it be possible! She looked out of the window. Past
rushed a stream of black oaks pricked through with flashes of sea.
She knew what she would answer. She had turned it over for twenty-four
hours. She had not dreamed how hard it would be to utter. His kindly
eyes were bent upon her with a steady patience, but his blunt fingers
drummed the arm of her chair.
“I tried then to make you see,” she began, “that I wasn’t merely putting
you off. I didn’t know then just what I could say—how much I was fit for
what you ask of me.” She supported his look. “Now I am sure I am not.”
He waved away her objection with his large, open hand. “Are _you_ the
judge of that?”
“Who else? Do you think I could take without giving? If I loved you it
would be different.”
“Yes. Well—I hardly hoped that, after what you said the other day,” he
answered sturdily; “but we are no longer children; I would not ask too
much of you. You are a woman of wide interests, and my life takes me so
much among people, manipulations of men as well as things, you might—”
She took it up. “Yes, if I could give your interests all my interest,
all my energy, my thought, as I might have done once, as I would now,
gladly, if I could. But I can’t. I have used up such power as I had.
I’ve done all I can do in other people’s interests. Now my interests
will be scattered. My ways are already fixed. You offer me an active
life in the world, but I am through my activities.”
“Good Heaven!” he broke out; “why, you talk as if you were old—_you_,
with the best of your life before you!”
Her smile was tight. “Perhaps I have lived through things too quickly.
But I know I like you too much to cheat you, which I should do if I
married you. I can’t—can’t do it! Believe me, I would like to give you
what you ask, but I haven’t it.”
“Is this the last word?” he said, half risen.
She nodded, her eyes full of tears.
He saw them, and touched her arm. “Don’t, don’t!” he said gently. “I
suppose you know what is best for _you_!” The accent fell on the last
word sadly. He rose; she saw him, a dim bulk on the light window-square
as he stooped to gather up bags and umbrella; saw him passing her. The
door closed behind him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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